male-mars female-venus - balancing the planets

 

 A blog I read gave this post and I thought it was a good bit of info.

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Generally, men are sexually driven. Men can become easily aroused and wish to achieve sexual gratification. If unable to accomplish gratification with the significant other he will search for alternative means, commonly masturbation. In marriage or long term relationships, excessive masturbation can cause a lack of intimacy and be unhealthy for the relationship.

Females commonly are not sexually driven. Most females do not become easily aroused and want to achieve sexual gratification. The common saying, "need to get in the mood" is used to allow the mental shift a female needs to become sexually aroused and want to achieve sexual gratification.

A balance is required for sexual intimacy and a health relationship. To achieve this; the males wish to achieve sexual gratification needs to be curbed and time for the mental shift of the female must be met. Accomplishing this will bring intimacy  back and create a better relationship.

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I find this very true for myself. With the day to day life I will choose masturbation over "bothering" my wife for sex. The problem I have, I will masturbate every day and multiple times if aroused enough. With chastity involved I find myself "happy" to wait till we have time for intimate pleasures together.

The sexual idea of chastity will spark a arousal still but being in the device, I just sit back and enjoy the wait now. I find that I do think more about my wife's feelings and needs because I am not worried about mine. I feel masturbation causes me to be more self centered.

My interest in the the fetish and chastity lifestyle has been a roller coaster from hell. Finally the ride comes to a stop with my interested being; my wife dressed in a simple white blouse, black slacks and heels out on a date with me. Myself in my chastity device and having to wait till we have "time" for our sexual encounters. My wife knowing I have made the choice to be in the device till we have "time" and not worrying about anything, other to enjoy our new found intimacy and build our relationship stronger.

Funny how a simple device can curb sexual fantasies, needs, wants and simplify all that bringing the focus back to the one person I want the focus to be on in the beginning, my loving wife...

Well the summer is over, school is back in.... and So am I...

The device did find it's way on and off but with the heat and family events all summer it was impossible for us to have any time or even any enjoyment of the device being on. She suggested to hold off till school starts and then work our way back in to things.

The idea she came up with right now is for me to just wear the device while it is "that time of the month" --- (with a catch) till she is interested in having intercourse. This maybe shortly after things clear up or it could be... well as she said... "who knows when a girl will want some intercourse".

I will not get unlocked or have any keys of any type this time. Usually I have a emergency key but we decided that if it got to that point that I needed the key, she could come unlock me. If it was a accident, they are not going to look for a "key" in my wallet.

I have such a dominate personality 95% of my life, yet when my wife comes into the picture, I melt.... I know also that I feel so much better with her having some control over me. This will be a fun/rough "getting back in the saddle"

Play has been interesting.

Been a while since I posted. Summers are always hard for us with the little ones around all the time and just no time to do much. Vacations put us on planes and with all the traveling going on the device has been on the shelf for a while. I am looking forward to the winter months for sure.

One thing we have agreed on completely is that she wants more sex including intercourse with me. Which is cause be me wearing the device more. So the agreement will be soon as the schools open back up I will go back in and only get out for sex when she wants, wearing the device 24/7 through the kids school year. Once the summer comes again we will figure if I will continue to wear or break like we have now.

Wife hasn't got to wear my favorite outfit for me because of the little "knocks' on the door... lol ... So ready for fall....

Device always wins.

It is true that when the device is on and the energy level is high the amount of energy overflows onto the blog. With the amount of travel I have been doing there was no way to be able to wear my device for long periods of time to get the full effect of the device for us. I am able to put the device on and wear it 24/7 for months at a time and yes after the first day or two I am worked up greatly. But after 7 days, it is just like wearing a pair of underwear.

The advantage, when I want to have a sexual release I can't. That's when the device does the job. For myself it takes a good month or so in for my submissive side to give in and I want a orgasm. So that's the main reason the device has been pretty much "on the shelf" for now.

With the summer here the challenge has increased with little ones running at our feet. The plan is to reinstated the device for a good long period once my season slows down and school is back in (which is exactly the same time). The possible idea is "wait till Xmas till opening" which will be a 4 month run.

Tumblr has been keeping a lot of my time too but I plan to blog more again, specially on the mental side of chastity.

Random thoughts.

I have been so busy with work lately I haven't been able to think straight. Now I sit here thinking about what makes me tick sexually.

I have found that one thing I have really been "wanting", "needing", "yearning for" is a collar locked around my neck with the ability to wear it long term. My collar of choice at this time is the Wyred Collar in 316 stainless 4-9mm thickness. I am also wanting a tag on that collar but I am not sure what to put on the tag. My SR#? a symbol, a saying?

I have been in and out of my device and more out than in because of work. We are both hoping to get things back in line soon.

Thus my ability to blog will increase again.

Time... thought.. Chastity.. pondering

For as long as I can remember I have wanted my wife to have some control over me. Once I found chastity I knew that was the thing. I dreamed of the day where she would have the keys and I would be locked with her holding the keys. Those days have finally came......

How I found myself excited for each day I as in the device, counting the days and looking forward to the days to come in the device. Yes, my interest do lean toward more a "permanent chastity" vs "short term". Yet I find myself not as worried or even paying attention to the day totals anymore. My wife has the keys, I am locked, the device is almost a second part of my body now.

Mentally, that is the interest now for me. I find myself wondering, wondering if there is something I should be doing to make this more exciting to myself or my wife. Pondering if I become bored with the device what I could do. The large point I made to my wife was to "stick to the plan" and not allow me out anytime earlier than our planned date. I find myself easy to get bored when not stimulated all the time.

I knew going into this that my wife would not be one that would go out of her way in any fashion to tease me or keep my interest in the chastity. This I knew and wanted to feel what it is like to want out of the device and not be able to get out. I want to really feel the loss of control, the loss of decisions, the true feeling of submission and wade in it.

I find myself looking to that now, wondering how I will handle it. I do believe I will handle it well, I am not one that tries to sneak a orgasm, nor once I know I can't get out, try to sneak the keys. (I have made sure that isn't a easy task also). I do wish there were some consequences if I did attempt anything like that but I sit back and know I would never attempt anything like that in the first place.

After about 7-10 days the device starts to become part of my body, I adapt to it and how to deal with all the aspects of life with it. Soon after that, I can almost forget the device at times. This is the point I worry about. Forgetting about the device can also cause me to forget about my "place" and how I should act to my wife. I wonder if this happens to others in Long Term Chastity?

Specially with a wife like mine that isn't kinky, the reminders of my situation with teasing or direct stimulation does not happen with her. So, I have seen myself act out, where I didn't earlier when the device was so easy to remember. As the chastity goes on I wonder, does the effect of the orgasm denial take over the feeling of the device to remind me of my place?

Is this something normal to those in long term chastity or is there something more to come?

Time and chastity.

I find myself noticing when I haven't been thinking about chastity more than when I am thinking of chastity. Having a device on with such a long date away, I notice that it is easier and more comfortable now than it was 5 days ago.

There will be a point where the comfort level stops and just becomes what I expect to feel. The mental side of it will not go away I feel. I think of chastity and what it means to  me every day, hundreds of times a day. I also think of what it might mean for my wife and only can guess how her feelings really are.

The reason being, I find that the less I speak with her about it the more comfortable she comes with it. I did find with time that my fantasies about chastity changed to the point now I keep asking myself..... "What do I really want HER to do with the chastity?"

For years the fantasies would have her teasing me, having me beg to have the cage off and her keeping me in denial. Yet when the fantasy becomes reality I find that I am happy to be in the device, and I am just happy she isn't telling me she wants it off me. Teasing for me is when I get to bring her to a orgasm orally or with a vibrator and get to hear and see her orgasm. Right after she is quick to enjoy the fact that there is nothing for me and she back to her own things quickly. Denial for her is just flat denial of any attention to my state and teasing me in any way.

She can shift moods and thoughts so quickly now and I find because of not getting to orgasm I do not. I do like that feeling and just the thought of it test my cage right now. I seem to feel like chastity is almost like sporting seasons for a man. When it is football season all we want to discuss is the teams, trades, outlook of the game so on and so forth each day and every chance we can. With me in chastity I feel the same way with my situation, "wanting" to talk about it, how it feels to me, what she might want to do, so forth and so on..... Yet, it isn't that easy nor do I think she would want to discuss much. So what do I have the most of..... TIME.......

Time is a good thing and bad thing in chastity, in a breath I look at the calendar and smile knowing I have 12 more weeks in my device without a release. But I also look at the 12 weeks and know I will be at a point where I will want to be out, will want a orgasm, will really want to know what she things and will want to test her control and feelings of being a keyholder. Time causes me to worry that when that time comes she will fold and give up the keys. I hope at that point she will not, she will "require" me to complete what I promised to her.

I do believe this will be the final stage of chastity that will make it completely real for me. Right now I still feel I have some control over it, and for me that is exactly what I DON"T want. I have told her before I "want" her to "want me in chastity". To explain that and try to get that point across I haven't been able to figure out how to put that out for her.

There are many aspects of chastity and reasons it is good and bad for couples. I am hoping by the time that I have hit the "I want out" stage, she will have decided that "nope, you stay" and that will be the magic day. I know once I hear that from her, my submissive side will be complete. I might not like the answer, nor would I like it if she decided to skip the May 30 date and just keep going to Sept 30 but I would in my heart "love it" knowing she is taking control....

Time is a wonderful and terrible thing, leave me alone with too much time, the mind wanders!!!!