Time goes by.

I find that when in my chastity device, I tend to think about how things will go if my wife "forgets" about me having the device on. Once it is on, she gets the keys and puts them up, and there isn't any discussion about the device. I wear it and wait. Which I want. ...

I also think about "what if she just doesn't get in the mood" and I go a few months.. That has happened before. I find that being in the device is mentally a better feeling to me than being out of the device. I feel closer to my wife and that I am not cheating her by masturbating.

The chastity device becomes almost a safety blanket to a sort..

Finding I wanted it, in and out.

I have found a App for my android tablet that allows me to track my wife's cycles. The idea was to use it to get mentally prepared for the chastity and make sure I had everything ready when she would tell me it was "that time".

I find myself now, counting down the days with excitement and anticipation. Looking today I know there is about 6 days left till that time. You just log each month when the period starts and ends and it learns the cycle and can almost pick the exact day.

This is useful for me mentally because, if I have been in for around a month without a release I can see her period coming and know that it will be that much time longer and not to get my hopes up. It hasn't happened but once that we went more than a few weeks because of vanilla life keeping us busy.

This has increased my wife's libido  and our connection is much greater now sexually. Having it where she knows I will not "advance" on her when she isn't in the mood helps her get in the mood easier. Plus knowing I am just "waiting" for her to be ready, is quite exciting for me.

I find that the next morning after being released, I am back on the app checking the days till the next "time" to start the fun over again.

Mental notes - new and pretty much the way it will be - routine.

One thing that I find difficult more than any other thing is "not talking about chastity" with my wife. I of course love the idea and even more when I am in it. She on the other hand wants me to " not talk about it" thus testing my ability to control my mouth. When I do talk about my chastity it ends up keeping me in longer.

So the routine now is a bit more simple for my wife to deal with. As I stated before, when it is "that time of the month" she text me letting me know. Soon as I get home I put the device on, give her all the keys and the journey begins. This is a double whammy. I deal with the 'getting use to the device" period as she deals with her period. Also, I having the device on, reminds me of her issues she is having to deal with, thus keeping me at a better state to not be a ass while she isn't feeling good.

Once she begins to feel better then when she then "feels in the mood" and only then will I be released. When out of chastity I always initiate intercourse, I am not allowed to suggest when in chastity. Also the catch for her is, when she does feel in the mood, she will be the initiator and be more aggressive in bed.  She isn't aggressive in bed but will take charge on these nights. I have took a set of very high black heels also and added spikes to the back as many have seen people do with heels. She will wear those heels so that the spikes will find my flesh. The thought excites me greatly.

Once released and the night is over, the vanilla life comes back and not till it is her time of the month again will the device be on. This allows her a easy way to initiate the lock down and the unknown when I will be released works great with my mental state. I have had a minimum of 3 days but as she and I discussed it could easily be months if she just doesn't find the mood to be Dom before having her period again.

I know everyone out there has a different way to use chastity in their life and I am happy to say I think we found something that will bring her into a more comfortable state using the chastity on me and now I just have to decide... Keep my mouth shut and have a better chance to get out.. or keep talking and never see the end again..lol

How to balance day to day life and the kink a husband has.

Taken from a ("vanilla" female/kinky male couples blog that helps vanilla females with kinky husbands) with their permission.
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 A little about us:

My husband and I have been married 24 years and I have always loved him and he loves me. He has always been kinky and wanting to do kinky things. He has always wanted to do those things with me involved. I am not very kinky at all or sexually driven like he is. We have three children, one in college, and two in high school. We both work a 9-5, neither of us like to cook or clean. We do split things 50/50.

Over they years my husband has tried to involve me in some kink or another that he was interested in at the time. His interest would change with the seasons. He being my husband and lover I would try to be involved as much as I could but just never could understand many of the interest. One of the major hangups I would have was, I couldn't see my husband in the way he wanted many times with his kink. I can not see my husband as a puppy or pony, I saw my husband dressed in some funny outfit acting like a fool.

The friction between his need for a kink and mine having no interest in them came to a impasse. He encouraged seeking out a marriage/sex counselor for assistance in our marriage. "Cut to the chase" my husband came to the realization the majority of his interest would never work in our marriage and I understood that there would be some kink in our marriage that we could "agree on". As all counselors say, "communication" is needed.

The agreement we settled on with the counselor incorporated his necessity for power-exchange and a simplistic way for me to be involved where I could be enthusiastic toward it all. We agreed the "event" would last no longer than a week and would only happen once a month around the 1st of the month.

My husband wanted a power-exchange with aspects of his interest integrated in. His need for a outward showing of his status would be a wrist ring, not a thick dog collar, the need for power-exchange suggested and agreed on would be a plastic chastity device, and the servant need would be embraced with taking over all the chores around the house he could handle (terrible cook).

My collaboration allowed the ability to relax and find enjoyment in this "event". I take possession of the keys to the locks on his wrist ring and chastity device. I know the end date, allowing myself to make provisions to free the night and introspectively prepare for a sexual encounter. I am free of the chores he has taken during this time.

Each situation will be different with the dynamic of the relationship but if you are reading this, there is a good chance the one thing in common is a kinky husband. 

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I thought this post and many in the blog interesting. I find that there can be a happy medium if both parties are willing to give some and also willing to discuss the options. If not, they always say if you can't get milk from the cow you can go to the store and buy some... But that isn't healthy for any marriage.

When it gets cold.

These are stainless steel ice cubes you can buy.

Funny how when the weather drops the temp below 35 F that the stainless cage begins to feel like this as the wind hits the cage through my jeans. LOL.

Today was one of those days that the wind cut right through my clothing and after 2 hours outside the cage and ring was about the same temp. Yet another friendly reminder of my situation. Wouldn't have it any other way. :)

When the mood hits

One thing that has always interested me was the sexual mood of females. Men do not have the same sexual moods as females. I in fact believe we are always in a sexual mood. I saw this and was surprised to see it as a card that I could pick from the main page. It made me giggle to myself thinking of how many people wondered "whats up with the keys".... lol

male-mars female-venus - balancing the planets

 

 A blog I read gave this post and I thought it was a good bit of info.

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Generally, men are sexually driven. Men can become easily aroused and wish to achieve sexual gratification. If unable to accomplish gratification with the significant other he will search for alternative means, commonly masturbation. In marriage or long term relationships, excessive masturbation can cause a lack of intimacy and be unhealthy for the relationship.

Females commonly are not sexually driven. Most females do not become easily aroused and want to achieve sexual gratification. The common saying, "need to get in the mood" is used to allow the mental shift a female needs to become sexually aroused and want to achieve sexual gratification.

A balance is required for sexual intimacy and a health relationship. To achieve this; the males wish to achieve sexual gratification needs to be curbed and time for the mental shift of the female must be met. Accomplishing this will bring intimacy  back and create a better relationship.

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I find this very true for myself. With the day to day life I will choose masturbation over "bothering" my wife for sex. The problem I have, I will masturbate every day and multiple times if aroused enough. With chastity involved I find myself "happy" to wait till we have time for intimate pleasures together.

The sexual idea of chastity will spark a arousal still but being in the device, I just sit back and enjoy the wait now. I find that I do think more about my wife's feelings and needs because I am not worried about mine. I feel masturbation causes me to be more self centered.

My interest in the the fetish and chastity lifestyle has been a roller coaster from hell. Finally the ride comes to a stop with my interested being; my wife dressed in a simple white blouse, black slacks and heels out on a date with me. Myself in my chastity device and having to wait till we have "time" for our sexual encounters. My wife knowing I have made the choice to be in the device till we have "time" and not worrying about anything, other to enjoy our new found intimacy and build our relationship stronger.

Funny how a simple device can curb sexual fantasies, needs, wants and simplify all that bringing the focus back to the one person I want the focus to be on in the beginning, my loving wife...