As things are going with our schedule right now, I am usually out ~10 days a month between being released and back into the device. During this time, being free and free willed as I am, masturbation takes a very high place each night. I have always looked at porn, read porn and enjoyed porn, in and out of chastity. The thing that I find interesting is how my mind will grow a fantasy to a exorbitant size with the hopes that it would be reality as I masturbate and the days go by.
Within a few days of being free and enjoying masturbation regularly, I start thinking how that I might get my fantasies brought to the "real world" with my wife. I swear there must be a "false hope enzyme produced when men masturbate. My wife is extremely vanilla but I will start calculating a plan to "this time" get her to try the fantasy. Chances of this happening---- 0.05% lol
The issue I have, when left 'out" the amount of imagination grows with each day and times I masturbate. Plus when I do masturbate I tend to be focused completely on myself and choose to take care of myself quickly than see if my wife might want to join.
While in chastity, everything swings the opposite way. No masturbation keeps my mind from growing these fantasies and keeps me grounded. I will get worked up, but without the sexual release I have to just hold that sexual energy and it focuses on my wife with the outlook of being released for some "couple time in the bed". Plus when it has been a while, I am not thinking of any fantasy, only the fact that I see those keys and her in the bed at the same time. My focus is completely on her and enjoying the night.
I still look at porn, when in chastity, think of "what if" but know that it wouldn't happen. It allows me to see my reality much clearer, weigh the chances of a fantasy, with less confusion of Fantasy and Reality....
"I see clearly now the chastity is on". lol
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