Monday, December 10, 2012

How long is "not long enough"?

I find myself in a internal battle within myself. In one moment I am wanting to get out of my device and feel a orgasm with my wife and in a another moment I am wanting to lose the roll coming up on the next date and have to wait more time.

When I think of a orgasm I get excited and can feel my cage, but when I think of having to wait longer the cage becomes more of a test of will then. My excitement is greater when thinking of being required to hold off longer.

I think part of my thoughts to hold off are for my wife to grow more into the idea of me in chastity and her free to orgasm. Thus giving her more interest in teasing me and letting me know my position while I bring her to a orgasm. I guess however, the true effect of my wishes will not be known till our next date night and she rolls the dice.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Random thoughts

I find that one thing that has changed in chastity from before is the ability to recognize when my wife wants or needs help. That is something that is lost in the years of marriage just like the sexual energy that is lost a lot of times in a marriage because of age and situations (kids-work-life). I was sitting back and thought how I noticed myself opening the door for her, thinking about taking out the trash, and in general just thinking about her needs more.

With our situation, there is no "kinky" stimulation, teasing, denial,  it is a flat "I'm in chastity". Once a week, we have date night, after I run her a bath and have convinced her to allow me to bring her to a orgasm. Right after the orgasm it is a kiss on the cheek and off to bed she goes. Could you call that a tease and denial, "technically yes" but there is no effort on her part.

The vanilla aspect of her interest has not changed that much, there has been some glimmers of light here and there but really I think she would just say "ok" if I wanted to stop with the chastity.

Then again, there is a hope that she has seen the good sides of chastity and not want me to quit. I find that pretty much all day every day I am fine with the chastity it is only when I wake up at night, with that pinch or poke needing to go to the bathroom to get it all to relax and get back to bed. As I sit there my mind wanders to "why am I doing this? She could care less I bet." Then the morning comes and things are back to normal.

I think the glimmer of hope that she will find some more interest in chastity and have more of a input or control over the situation keeps me going. Right now it is a game, we use dice to decide how long I am in and how I will receive a orgasm. I sit and think what more I would want and I find many times not being able to answer that question.

I think the thing I look for all the time is that "attitude" and need to feel the position I am in. I know my wife would never want to control finances nor major decisions without a discussion or me just handling it. However, in a FLM that can still be the male's job. I almost think that the "attitude"  I am looking for is of a "Queen" and that feeling of royalty yet I would be a commoner, servant to her in many ways.

We both tend to watch med-evil shows and I find the power very attractive of the Queen, "The Knights Tale" is a good example, doing anything to show his love.

At bended knee for my love.....

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Sexual energy and daily life

At least for myself when in chastity, it is for my wife, as if the device doesn't exist 98% of the time. There have been some remarks or comments here and their that cause tingling of my sexual energy but only for a moment in time.

Most the time, things are as usual. Just, I can't release the sexual energy I have built up. I find myself getting frustrated some days and most days, comfortable in my position. Would I like more interaction from my wife, "yes". Yet, when I say that I step back and think, "What interaction would that be?" and I have no clue.......

The one thing that doesn't involve any sexual act on her part is just pointing out the fact she knows I am in chastity and she has the control over the keys. It has been 60 days plus 6-8 more and there has only been 2-3 times she has commented on the fact. I look at this picture and see a man sexually energized because the female is "paying attention" to

I know a lot of men in chastity do not need a lot of teasing and denial, more just the fact that they know that they wife/keyholder remembers they are in chastity and have gave up the control to them.

 I know with the idea that my wife points out my chastity and any enjoyment or "likes" she has about it would cause me to want to stay in chastity as long as she would like me to. I know that chastity has had a great impact on my sexual fantasy - to reality needs. Before any sexual fantasy I had I wanted to bring to reality. Now I can have those fantasies yet understand they will not become reality without my wife's consent.  And I don't tend to want to bring them up to her because I can't act on them in chastity....

There is on but, good to still think as a fantasy...