Monday, March 11, 2013

Time... thought.. Chastity.. pondering

For as long as I can remember I have wanted my wife to have some control over me. Once I found chastity I knew that was the thing. I dreamed of the day where she would have the keys and I would be locked with her holding the keys. Those days have finally came......

How I found myself excited for each day I as in the device, counting the days and looking forward to the days to come in the device. Yes, my interest do lean toward more a "permanent chastity" vs "short term". Yet I find myself not as worried or even paying attention to the day totals anymore. My wife has the keys, I am locked, the device is almost a second part of my body now.

Mentally, that is the interest now for me. I find myself wondering, wondering if there is something I should be doing to make this more exciting to myself or my wife. Pondering if I become bored with the device what I could do. The large point I made to my wife was to "stick to the plan" and not allow me out anytime earlier than our planned date. I find myself easy to get bored when not stimulated all the time.

I knew going into this that my wife would not be one that would go out of her way in any fashion to tease me or keep my interest in the chastity. This I knew and wanted to feel what it is like to want out of the device and not be able to get out. I want to really feel the loss of control, the loss of decisions, the true feeling of submission and wade in it.

I find myself looking to that now, wondering how I will handle it. I do believe I will handle it well, I am not one that tries to sneak a orgasm, nor once I know I can't get out, try to sneak the keys. (I have made sure that isn't a easy task also). I do wish there were some consequences if I did attempt anything like that but I sit back and know I would never attempt anything like that in the first place.

After about 7-10 days the device starts to become part of my body, I adapt to it and how to deal with all the aspects of life with it. Soon after that, I can almost forget the device at times. This is the point I worry about. Forgetting about the device can also cause me to forget about my "place" and how I should act to my wife. I wonder if this happens to others in Long Term Chastity?

Specially with a wife like mine that isn't kinky, the reminders of my situation with teasing or direct stimulation does not happen with her. So, I have seen myself act out, where I didn't earlier when the device was so easy to remember. As the chastity goes on I wonder, does the effect of the orgasm denial take over the feeling of the device to remind me of my place?

Is this something normal to those in long term chastity or is there something more to come?

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Time and chastity.

I find myself noticing when I haven't been thinking about chastity more than when I am thinking of chastity. Having a device on with such a long date away, I notice that it is easier and more comfortable now than it was 5 days ago.

There will be a point where the comfort level stops and just becomes what I expect to feel. The mental side of it will not go away I feel. I think of chastity and what it means to  me every day, hundreds of times a day. I also think of what it might mean for my wife and only can guess how her feelings really are.

The reason being, I find that the less I speak with her about it the more comfortable she comes with it. I did find with time that my fantasies about chastity changed to the point now I keep asking myself..... "What do I really want HER to do with the chastity?"

For years the fantasies would have her teasing me, having me beg to have the cage off and her keeping me in denial. Yet when the fantasy becomes reality I find that I am happy to be in the device, and I am just happy she isn't telling me she wants it off me. Teasing for me is when I get to bring her to a orgasm orally or with a vibrator and get to hear and see her orgasm. Right after she is quick to enjoy the fact that there is nothing for me and she back to her own things quickly. Denial for her is just flat denial of any attention to my state and teasing me in any way.

She can shift moods and thoughts so quickly now and I find because of not getting to orgasm I do not. I do like that feeling and just the thought of it test my cage right now. I seem to feel like chastity is almost like sporting seasons for a man. When it is football season all we want to discuss is the teams, trades, outlook of the game so on and so forth each day and every chance we can. With me in chastity I feel the same way with my situation, "wanting" to talk about it, how it feels to me, what she might want to do, so forth and so on..... Yet, it isn't that easy nor do I think she would want to discuss much. So what do I have the most of..... TIME.......

Time is a good thing and bad thing in chastity, in a breath I look at the calendar and smile knowing I have 12 more weeks in my device without a release. But I also look at the 12 weeks and know I will be at a point where I will want to be out, will want a orgasm, will really want to know what she things and will want to test her control and feelings of being a keyholder. Time causes me to worry that when that time comes she will fold and give up the keys. I hope at that point she will not, she will "require" me to complete what I promised to her.

I do believe this will be the final stage of chastity that will make it completely real for me. Right now I still feel I have some control over it, and for me that is exactly what I DON"T want. I have told her before I "want" her to "want me in chastity". To explain that and try to get that point across I haven't been able to figure out how to put that out for her.

There are many aspects of chastity and reasons it is good and bad for couples. I am hoping by the time that I have hit the "I want out" stage, she will have decided that "nope, you stay" and that will be the magic day. I know once I hear that from her, my submissive side will be complete. I might not like the answer, nor would I like it if she decided to skip the May 30 date and just keep going to Sept 30 but I would in my heart "love it" knowing she is taking control....

Time is a wonderful and terrible thing, leave me alone with too much time, the mind wanders!!!!

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Waiting on the shift of emotions.

For me, chastity has been such a fantasy and 'need" that I am so happy to be in chastity that there is no "want to be out".

One of the big reasons the 15 weeks till the next release idea came from some post I read about how it takes time for the body and mind to shift out of the "I'm in chastity, happy happy, joy joy" to the "I want out of chastity and feel my wife"..... I have not had that feeling very strong yet.

Even tho I went 87 days with the dice game the fact that the longer term chastity was new to my wife and when the rolls would show more time, I was more worried about her feelings and that she would let me out early if I showed any thoughts of "wanting out". This time, with the length being so long I am hoping to feel that "need" to be out as much as that "joy" of being in. The only thing I asked of my wife was to not let me out early.

One of the hardest things I find I have to do also is, "think about not talking about" the chastity with my wife. Her being vanilla I found when I didn't talk about it and was in the 87 days she was more interested in making comments herself and joking about it. Before when I would try chastity (and failed) it seemed that she was put back and I think it was because I would discuss it too much with her.

Only being 2 weeks in, 13 to go, I will learn my tongue and place this time. I would have never thought of this length of time before, yet now I feel it is the best thing for me to learn all aspects of chastity and what it means to wear a device for your soul mate.

Her time.

One thing that has been being discussed in some of the groups I am in are the ways that the chaste serves his wife/keyholder without having a orgasm.

I couldn't quite figure this out at first then I found that they were released for intercourse with expectations not to orgasm. That is a very interesting thought and many ways to insure no accidental orgasm was discussed. I thought of the mental side of this and how it would play on the mind.

For me, it is simple, once the keys are put away they do not come back out for any reason other than medical or metal detectors till my release date. My wife has always preferred oral stimulation or the uses of a vibrator over intercourse for her orgasm.  When we would have sex I would always go down on her first to insure her orgasm before we ever had intercourse, now it is much easier for her being able to enjoy her orgasm then not worry about any mess after.

I have always loved giving her a orgasm before mine and with the chastity it just keeps me very horny for a long time. Each time I bring her to a orgasm, it usually takes about 3 hours for me to go to sleep after because of being so worked up. I do feed off her sounds and body movements as she has her orgasm.