Saturday, February 23, 2013

Chastity as a way of life.

For so many years and in fact all the years of my marriage I have always wanted to "serve" my wife in many ways but the restraints of her vanilla side has always caused road blocks. Because of this I would always try to shift gears and find a different interest that she might "enjoy" and we could soon be working our way into the lifestyle.

Years went by of this and all it really did was cause more stress in our sex life. Once I found chastity I knew it was the key thing that would give the control to my wife that I wanted to release and would give her the ability to have the control with little effort.

Years of frustration and money dumped into device after device only caused me to get more frustrated about the situation. Finally with the device now I have, I can honestly say I have found a device I can not defeat, nor pull off and can wear as long as required.

My mental state shifts when in my chastity device, I feel I do not have the roller coaster ride of emotions I usually have and my wife even has pointed that out also. With this was one of the many reasons I wanted to go longer term in the device.

I was asked how kinky things are now since I am in chastity and for us it isn't about the "sex" now, it is about a way of life now. I feel better, she likes the results with me and it doesn't change how I treat her yet she does point out that I seem to be taking care of her more than when released. My mind is on her more and I do think of how I can help her when I can. Thus the servant part of me gets to be out.

Much of the stress between us seems to melt away when I am in the chastity device because she also knows that "just a kiss" doesn't turn into me humping her leg wanting sex. She  can cuddle, we can kiss, and she knows I will not advance.When she wants more, she lets me know... And it is all about her now which I enjoy as much as she does.

This comes to the point that a local Dom discussed with me, I could easily end up staying in chastity and wouldn't have a problem long as my wife wanted it. My need is high but my need for her acceptance is higher....

Thursday, February 21, 2013

The new journey begins.

So 2013 is decided and the chapter has been written. 

After dinner I presented my wife with the idea of the three releases and the dates that could be used. She was very happy with the idea and loved the fact that we didn't rely on some dice game or reward system. 

She pointed out that being a set amount of time it will take away from the focus on the device and put the focus on the "situation" more that the device. If normal life gets in the way we will modify the dates by pushing them back to the next Thursday (Usually a good free night for us).

So since being locked in on Feb 14th, my first release date will be May 30th. This will be ~106 days. The next release will be our Anniversary on Sept 26th and that is it for 2013. 

As for 2014 on Jan 30th (My Birthday) she will have a "special" release for me and once we have reached that we will discuss our future plans with the chastity. Will we increase, decrease releases?

All keys have been locked away, she has agreed that I am not allowed to "quit" since this was my idea and I have to follow through. 

Before thinking too much on it, there will be exceptions if needed for Doctor visits, metal detectors, things like that. But she will be with me and soon as in the clear, back in I go. I am very surprised how happy my wife was with the idea and also how "at peace" I am with it also. 


Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Got suckered in...

Just a note.. if the comments start going away from the point of the post, I am done trying to "convince" anyone. Just going to delete the comment and go on.

Noticed I got caught up trying to justify and just not going to play that game.....

The beauty of chastity in a loving relationship

I have always loved my wife with all my heart and I have also had a bit of a submissive side. My wife has never had any interest in the D/s lifestyle yet I find it very interesting. I have always wanted to give my wife "more" than just my heart and soul without being her "slave or submissive".

I have also felt that masturbating at times was almost cheating on her because I could masturbate and find that my interest in her needs subside with the orgasm. This has always bothered me over the years. When I found the idea of chastity I was drawn so strongly to it. Yet the ability to escape was too easy. Till of course the device I have now.

With this device and the fact that I can wear it long periods (just not through metal detectors) it has given me hope to truly give my wife more. I am able to be "controlled" or better put "taken the ability away" with my orgasm. This will also allow complete focus on her orgasm throughout the year. Only a few times will my orgasm come into play.

I would say why I want to do this is my undying devotion to my wife and to show her that I am willing to remove one of the most common things a man can do to show that to her. Also, it is a bonus that is pretty much insures no way to cheat with another woman... lol

I did not think it was possible to have chastity in a relationship without some part of a D/s relationship yet after talking with so many couples that call it "vanilla chastity" I have found new hope. Many use chastity in different ways but the end result is the devotion to their wife and show of love.

Monday, February 18, 2013

The wheels grind away....

I sit here thinking....

My wife and I use chastity because "I want chastity" not because she does. She plays along, and now and then will surprise me. Yet, like last night she talked about how she doesn't mind it at all but doesn't want to make it "Some domination,submission game".

She told me she can tell a real difference when I am in chastity how I am more aware of her and her needs. Yet she doesn't want the chastity to dictate the way I act, however it does.

So we discussed this a while and still didn't come up with a good plan for how the chastity would work for us. For me, I really can't have access to the keys easily because I will get weak and use them. Yet she is not a strong keyholder that really wants the keys. It's more of a "can take it or leave it" with her. She mainly does some stuff for me more than anything.

The task she gave me was to come up with a way that she can be the keyholder with minimum requirements. She doesn't want a reward game, or anything like that. So the idea is a bit tough. She told me the dice game was just "corny".

Been thinking how to come up with something that would work for her, give a good amount of control to her, yet be as easy as it can get......

So the idea I have right now, really puts me on the spot, yet is very easy for her.

** We have three dates that mean a lot to us that are spread out thru the year. These dates actually have a average of no less than 105 days apart and up to 120. If I use these three dates for actual releases the time between releases are simple. The catch is, that's longer than I have ever been and I will go that time three times before next January........  I have thought of two pegging dates to be added possibly (without device removal of course).

The device will remain on for all times unless work requires removal (metal detector), Doctor visit, sports game or travel with family. Other than that the device will stay on with no removal. **

Now, the question is, do I have the bravery to offer this idea up and know that I will only be allowed 3 releases in 2013??????

Friday, February 15, 2013

How the mind shifts quickly.

Over the period of time I have been "free" I found myself not actually interested in getting online and reading or posting. I would be more wrapped up in taking any free time and using that to come up with fantasies and masturbate. During this time I found myself as usual, not as interested in sex because I could easily get my pleasure with a few minutes alone.

Switch to now and I find myself wanting to find ways to get my wife to let me please her sexually so that I can her her orgasm.  I know she would not let me out for any sex during this time nor would I want too.

This really shows that my need to have control over my sexuality not only makes me more aware of my wife's needs but also has me wanting to fill her needs as I can.

I think at times that I would love to open up and tell her to make it a "year in chastity" but I also fear that as much as I want it......

Thursday, February 14, 2013

back in the saddle again.

Well after being in and out for the last month or so, I suggested something longer term.

Every Valentines day I suggest something "special" for my gift and it not costing any money. I always suggest something special in the bedroom. This time she surprised me with something special I wouldn't have guessed. But as you can guess.....

I came in the room, she was all "dolled" up and I went o taking care of her. Once done she reached beside the bed and pulled out my bag, I knew what was in it but didn't think she would do it. I was excited and frustrated (just as I have always wanted to be). After getting my device on she let me know that I could get comfortable in it because I would be in it for a while.

What a Valentines day to remember!

Guess my nights will be free to blog again