Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Random thoughts

I find that one thing that has changed in chastity from before is the ability to recognize when my wife wants or needs help. That is something that is lost in the years of marriage just like the sexual energy that is lost a lot of times in a marriage because of age and situations (kids-work-life). I was sitting back and thought how I noticed myself opening the door for her, thinking about taking out the trash, and in general just thinking about her needs more.

With our situation, there is no "kinky" stimulation, teasing, denial,  it is a flat "I'm in chastity". Once a week, we have date night, after I run her a bath and have convinced her to allow me to bring her to a orgasm. Right after the orgasm it is a kiss on the cheek and off to bed she goes. Could you call that a tease and denial, "technically yes" but there is no effort on her part.

The vanilla aspect of her interest has not changed that much, there has been some glimmers of light here and there but really I think she would just say "ok" if I wanted to stop with the chastity.

Then again, there is a hope that she has seen the good sides of chastity and not want me to quit. I find that pretty much all day every day I am fine with the chastity it is only when I wake up at night, with that pinch or poke needing to go to the bathroom to get it all to relax and get back to bed. As I sit there my mind wanders to "why am I doing this? She could care less I bet." Then the morning comes and things are back to normal.

I think the glimmer of hope that she will find some more interest in chastity and have more of a input or control over the situation keeps me going. Right now it is a game, we use dice to decide how long I am in and how I will receive a orgasm. I sit and think what more I would want and I find many times not being able to answer that question.

I think the thing I look for all the time is that "attitude" and need to feel the position I am in. I know my wife would never want to control finances nor major decisions without a discussion or me just handling it. However, in a FLM that can still be the male's job. I almost think that the "attitude"  I am looking for is of a "Queen" and that feeling of royalty yet I would be a commoner, servant to her in many ways.

We both tend to watch med-evil shows and I find the power very attractive of the Queen, "The Knights Tale" is a good example, doing anything to show his love.

At bended knee for my love.....

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