Thursday, November 22, 2012

Porn and chastity

One thing I still do is look at porn. I still love looking at Dominate dressed females showing control over men. I enjoy finding chat online to discuss the ideas of chastity and different fetish/kinky interest.

Before I would use this information just to come up with a new fantasy to masturbate with. Of course almost all the fantasies would include my wife being the woman in the fantasy. I would hope that in some way that chastity would spark a fetish side of my wife getting her interested into more fetish ideas.

Of course I knew this was also a fantasy. My wife doesn't have a fetish bone in her body, and any fantasies she has I wouldn't know of. But my interest in porn now comes to the idea of how I might make her orgasm stronger and to allow her to relax and enjoy the orgasm more.

I have been able to come to the understand that my "Fantasies" will always be "fantasies" and nothing more with my wife. There might be a small change with my relationship with my wife over the years to come but think that also, the fantasies should stay fantasies.

Not being able to masturbate causes me to not get worked up over fantasies and try to bring them into our bedroom.

One of my new "porn" pictures I love is the one above. Something is so erotic now of being completely naked, wife completely dressed having a orgasm and then just rolling off to do as she wants as I am left in chastity and feeling like a "toy" she uses when needed.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Different frame of mind.

When I thought about chastity and my wife, the changes that could happen and how it could bring so much to our sex life and my thoughts of the lifestyle, I had visions of my wife sitting in shinny clothing being all "Dom" and requesting things as I mouse around submitting to her........

I would use this thought to masturbate to. I would think of things like being locked away and taken with a strap-on, cuckolding, being my wife's high heel maid cleaning the house while all locked away. This fantasies would quickly take care of my sexual build up. Each time I would grow on the fantasies because the thoughts would get old if I thought of the same thing each time.

So, when my fantasy of chastity and reality of being in chastity met, it wasn't the same as the fantasy. Did I expect it to be, no. But I also found that my mental being was different than what I thought it would be in chastity.

I thought I would be all worked up every day, wanting out as much as I wanted to orgasm. I thought that I would not be able to get the chastity out of my mind, that I would do anything to get a reward to get out. That also didn't happen.

What I did find out was, life continued, I would notice the device when I bent down or moved the wrong way. It almost has become part of my body now. My wife doesn't wear leather or act's Dom to me at all. Nothing has really changed other than I don't masturbate anymore when it comes to the kinky side of things.

However, what has changed and I do feel for the better is my attention to my wife's needs. Now this isn't a 100% better attention but my attention is more focused on her. I am more willing to help around the house and when she is in need. Not to hope to get out of my device. It is because I notice she needs the assistance and I want to.

Before I would do things for her but I really did expect some kind of reward. Now I just do it, I also really, really do enjoy just giving her a orgasm with no worries about mine. It has began to be very erotic to me where my sexual energy is getting very high too now.

But the simple fact, fantasy and reality never really match. Do I think things might go more in one way or another, time will tell. I do know that I am happy wearing the device. I believe that my wife likes the changes in my attitude and attention toward her. I do think that neither of us would want to go back to me not wearing the chastity device.

I never thought I would actually find a device I could wear 24/7 365 if needed. This one I can, and will have to see a year from now where things are......

Friday, November 16, 2012

Blog Post change.

My blog has been directed to my wife so that she might read when she was able to and find some of my thoughts. We have came to the point where we have connected all the dots we need to between us with the chastity and how we will use it in our relationship.

I am going to change the theme of my blog to a more "open thoughts" of mine in general related to chastity and open up to the suggestions of comments if liked and go from there.

I know there are many out there searching to find the right device and the right way to introduce the idea to their partners. I feel I have more of a vanilla way of introducing and also know way too much about way too many devices.. LOL

Soon a new post will come, comments are welcome.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Hitting that point

For myself, the excitement of having the device, the effect that it has mentally on my sexual interest, and enjoyment of you just being part of this has carried me a long way. I was able to take care of you and enjoy the moment with no heavy sexual tension. Last night changed that. I found that I was sexually energized more than I knew what to do with, just bringing you to a orgasm. I (for lack of better terms) was "leaking" pre-cum from the experience without any physical contact to you in any way. I was wanting to really be in contact with you and personally take care of you. I did however want you to be able to place yourself into the thoughts and fantasies  you wanted to be in without outside interference from me. Using the vibrator with no physical contact allows that and watching your body movements is very exciting!

Mentally up to this point, it was about wearing the device, I find now a new side that is the true feeling I do not have control over my orgasm. This is a point many have spoke about that changes the chastity aspect and allows me to really feel the full effects of the chastity, submission and devotion I have given up.

Reaching this is exhilarating because I was unsure if I could mentally reach this point because I had wanted chastity for so long. It will be a mental challenge for me now because I am sexually excited easier and have many more weeks before a chance to roll.

I do believe that if I could take all the years, before with the roller coaster of  sexual interest and throw them out, I would and step back with this device. I would be willing it wear it from then to now, without being out, just to not have you go through the discomfort of the interest I brought you.

Physically and mentally, day to day, this does not change me in any way, nor does it for our family, our interaction within the normal world. Just under the sheets, I am really controlled by you and I love that feeling, as much as I love you. The submission and devotion is a complete aspect of my feelings to you and all this is doing is drawing me close to you than ever, and putting your feelings in front of mine even more.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Three things I think you need for the winter. :)

I believe every girl needs a pair of red pumps, matching handbag and leather gloves... Don't you think? Specially with your black dress and black leather coat...

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Squirt with water/ 2 more weeks.

You know when you said "five, six" I knew exactly what you meant. At first I thought to play it off but that's not what I want and I want you to be able to feel comfortable making a point like that. This isn't a game to me and if I feel that way I can't blow off when you say something like that.

I am very happy to know that you felt comfortable doing that and hope you will feel comfortable doing it again if needed. Like I said before, I want you to have control and feel comfortable with it. Also this will allow me to learn not to be a ass.

We had the the 4 week roll that put me at Nov 29th. Since I was a ass and deserve what you gave me the next roll will be Dec 13th if everything physical and normal life allows us to have "date night".

Thank you for being my wife, lover, soul mate and keyholder.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Time brings peace.

In the realm of things, the reality of myself being in chastity "real time" and it not being just some "game" it has only been such a short time.

I was discussing the other day on the forums and started thinking it was 2001 when I first got the CB2000 and first device. It has been 11 years and only a few months ago did the stars and planets aline and the device be so perfect for "real wear".

My excitement has been high because how well things are going. Now that we have found a way to determine time and type of release, I have hoped that any stress has been removed for you. I also find that before I had not stipulation to the idea of chastity so my mind would wander to all sort of thoughts. With this, I have found a peace and comfort in my position.

I have always wanted to give more to you than just my heart, and love. With this I give you all I can and even tho it may not mean anything to you, I love wearing my necklace with my pendant. It is a symbol to me of my devotion and submission of my self to you in more ways than anyone could guess.

I do believe that as time goes by my excitement will relax and I will just enjoy my position as we find our way. 

Friday, November 2, 2012

Offical Rules.

After looking over the rules, I have adjusted the rules to suit us best. 

·       After 28-30 days (4 week / Date night minimum) the game can be played after “date night is over”. If personal or physical issues come up the game will be played on the next available date night. All “release” rolls will be played out on NEXT available “Date Night”.
·       One roll of dice by You.
·       ROLL 12 = Denied for 4 more weeks.
·       ROLL 10 = Releasevibrator, free air orgasm – when orgasm begins - all stimulation is stopped and removed.
·       ROLL 8 = Release – intercourse
ROLL 6 = Release – Outfit/Permission required intercourse” (outfit – aka. heels and/or leather gloves) Must ask permission for orgasm, possible outfit when more comfortable.
·       ROLL 4 = Release – vibrator, masturbation, intercourse” (Your Choice).
·       ROLL 2 = Your Choice, or Re-roll of dice” (if re-roll & denied - double time)
·       ROLL any other Number = “Denied” for 2 more weeks or “Date Nights”.

** Device is placed back on same night of release, restarting 4 week minimum. All dates can be pushed back by You for any reason, or added time. **