Friday, March 13, 2015
It seems that my body and sexual drive has surprised me.
I figured that since I had been in my Steelworxx Looker 03 for so long before and having only a short period out, I would slip right back into the "comfort zone" with the device and it not effect me as much as it did before when going on for the first time after being "free". That didn't happen, the sexual excitement and "fighting the cage" was as if I hadn't been in my device for months. This was a pleasant and welcomed feeling because this is much of the mental/sexual struggle I enjoyed/hated.
After discussing with my wife/keyholder she also notices a heightened attention to her and my "tension". With having to find a date night and bedroom night/not same night, before a release, my focus will be on her even more. With "vanilla" life getting busy here and there I can see going a week or two for sure and easily, end up a month or so.
Before everything was on her to find the time and be "in the mood", not only juggle the fact to "let me out or not". This was a problem for her and was part of the frustrations she was having with the situation. Now, everything is on me. She gets the keys each month ( as a minimum) and once I have found a "good" date night, and then scheduled and able to get us a "bedroom night" she will release me. We have already joked that summers will almost always end up with a 3-4 month lock-down because with kids there is no "bedroom time" during the summer around here. Time will tell but years past, it has been that way and usually a good 80-100 day lock down.
Monday, March 9, 2015
With just a bit of free time we discussed what 2015 would hold for us this year. We both agreed that "long term" lock downs did not keep me at the level of frustration that I love/hate and that my focus slowly slips away from here as the months go by.
So we decided to try a new/old twist. Once again, today it was that time of the month so I went back in the cage. However this time, when she is "clear and feeling better" there will be more freedom but with stipulations. First she has to be back to normal, then I will have to take her out on a "good" date night, not just some normal night out, for her to enjoy. Then, and only then, can I schedule a release night with her. If vanilla life gets in the way and I don't get a "special date night" then I don't get out, If I get the "special date night" but vanilla life gets in the way and can't schedule a "bedroom night" before her time of the month again, I stay in.....
It takes a lot of thoughts our of her hands and all the work is put on me, I don't follow through, I don't get out. I will wear my collar when I am locked in my device so that she can see it and a outward expression of my submission to her for those that know what the collar means. She will wear a key that holds everything sexual we have locked in a chest around her neck to remind her of my situation. Thus we both have reminders, I will be very edgy with the shorter periods in the device, and our sex life will get more action.
Since I was locked back in today, I am trying to remember how long she has her "time of the month" again..lol
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
We had agreed to make it till the end of January before the removal of the cage. I found quickly that the cage became part of my body. Yes I would notice it when I moved and when I got excited but in general, I could completely forget at times that I had it on. This was a good thing so that I might be able to get my work done quickly but a bad thing because I missed that "frustration" I felt and the fact I would "know" it was on, all the time.
When we got to the end of January we sat down and discussed the options, to continue, stop on the date and release me, or ????
I suggested "not knowing" when I would get out and see if that would bring that "spark" back to the chastity that I so loved. I figured the 14th of February would be a dead give away so didn't expect it then. Sure enough, I didn't get out. I found a bit of the "spark" back but still nothing like it was before.
Last night, she surprised me with the keys and after such a long time I was free again. I can say, after all the time in, everything worked just fine. My sensitivity was greater because of the lack of stimulation so I didn't last that long. There was a bit of a "crash" knowing how long I had went in the device. However, I slept like log.
Today I reflected back and have came to the conclusion, "for me" I found that when it was my wife's time of the month, I would go in, and then wait till she was in the mood to get out, knowing that she wouldn't let me go more than a month or two. This seemed to keep me mentally in check and physically in check. My body still was not completely a custom to the device and kept me noticing it. My mind would find the device and quickly get excited at any chance to get out or even any touch of the cage.
My wife wanted me to think about things and discuss because she even agreed, I became too comfortable with the cage and the excitement was "gone" for me.
Now for a new chapter that could start very soon since she is only a week away or so from her 'time of the month". Now that my journey has came to a end, my mind is clear to express again and feel my post will come more frequently again.