Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Time and chastity.

I find myself noticing when I haven't been thinking about chastity more than when I am thinking of chastity. Having a device on with such a long date away, I notice that it is easier and more comfortable now than it was 5 days ago.

There will be a point where the comfort level stops and just becomes what I expect to feel. The mental side of it will not go away I feel. I think of chastity and what it means to  me every day, hundreds of times a day. I also think of what it might mean for my wife and only can guess how her feelings really are.

The reason being, I find that the less I speak with her about it the more comfortable she comes with it. I did find with time that my fantasies about chastity changed to the point now I keep asking myself..... "What do I really want HER to do with the chastity?"

For years the fantasies would have her teasing me, having me beg to have the cage off and her keeping me in denial. Yet when the fantasy becomes reality I find that I am happy to be in the device, and I am just happy she isn't telling me she wants it off me. Teasing for me is when I get to bring her to a orgasm orally or with a vibrator and get to hear and see her orgasm. Right after she is quick to enjoy the fact that there is nothing for me and she back to her own things quickly. Denial for her is just flat denial of any attention to my state and teasing me in any way.

She can shift moods and thoughts so quickly now and I find because of not getting to orgasm I do not. I do like that feeling and just the thought of it test my cage right now. I seem to feel like chastity is almost like sporting seasons for a man. When it is football season all we want to discuss is the teams, trades, outlook of the game so on and so forth each day and every chance we can. With me in chastity I feel the same way with my situation, "wanting" to talk about it, how it feels to me, what she might want to do, so forth and so on..... Yet, it isn't that easy nor do I think she would want to discuss much. So what do I have the most of..... TIME.......

Time is a good thing and bad thing in chastity, in a breath I look at the calendar and smile knowing I have 12 more weeks in my device without a release. But I also look at the 12 weeks and know I will be at a point where I will want to be out, will want a orgasm, will really want to know what she things and will want to test her control and feelings of being a keyholder. Time causes me to worry that when that time comes she will fold and give up the keys. I hope at that point she will not, she will "require" me to complete what I promised to her.

I do believe this will be the final stage of chastity that will make it completely real for me. Right now I still feel I have some control over it, and for me that is exactly what I DON"T want. I have told her before I "want" her to "want me in chastity". To explain that and try to get that point across I haven't been able to figure out how to put that out for her.

There are many aspects of chastity and reasons it is good and bad for couples. I am hoping by the time that I have hit the "I want out" stage, she will have decided that "nope, you stay" and that will be the magic day. I know once I hear that from her, my submissive side will be complete. I might not like the answer, nor would I like it if she decided to skip the May 30 date and just keep going to Sept 30 but I would in my heart "love it" knowing she is taking control....

Time is a wonderful and terrible thing, leave me alone with too much time, the mind wanders!!!!

1 comment:

  1. Such a wonderful expression of your feelings. Most men are not in touch with the true desire they feel. It is a complicated time for a man and many seem to either deny the feeling or have it redirected into the fetish fantasies so abundant around this subject.

    I hope on May 30 you get what you truly want which is to not get what you want.