Friday, March 13, 2015
After such a long time in, I thought going back in would be easy.
It seems that my body and sexual drive has surprised me.
I figured that since I had been in my Steelworxx Looker 03 for so long before and having only a short period out, I would slip right back into the "comfort zone" with the device and it not effect me as much as it did before when going on for the first time after being "free". That didn't happen, the sexual excitement and "fighting the cage" was as if I hadn't been in my device for months. This was a pleasant and welcomed feeling because this is much of the mental/sexual struggle I enjoyed/hated.
After discussing with my wife/keyholder she also notices a heightened attention to her and my "tension". With having to find a date night and bedroom night/not same night, before a release, my focus will be on her even more. With "vanilla" life getting busy here and there I can see going a week or two for sure and easily, end up a month or so.
Before everything was on her to find the time and be "in the mood", not only juggle the fact to "let me out or not". This was a problem for her and was part of the frustrations she was having with the situation. Now, everything is on me. She gets the keys each month ( as a minimum) and once I have found a "good" date night, and then scheduled and able to get us a "bedroom night" she will release me. We have already joked that summers will almost always end up with a 3-4 month lock-down because with kids there is no "bedroom time" during the summer around here. Time will tell but years past, it has been that way and usually a good 80-100 day lock down.