How I found myself excited for each day I as in the device, counting the days and looking forward to the days to come in the device. Yes, my interest do lean toward more a "permanent chastity" vs "short term". Yet I find myself not as worried or even paying attention to the day totals anymore. My wife has the keys, I am locked, the device is almost a second part of my body now.
Mentally, that is the interest now for me. I find myself wondering, wondering if there is something I should be doing to make this more exciting to myself or my wife. Pondering if I become bored with the device what I could do. The large point I made to my wife was to "stick to the plan" and not allow me out anytime earlier than our planned date. I find myself easy to get bored when not stimulated all the time.
I knew going into this that my wife would not be one that would go out of her way in any fashion to tease me or keep my interest in the chastity. This I knew and wanted to feel what it is like to want out of the device and not be able to get out. I want to really feel the loss of control, the loss of decisions, the true feeling of submission and wade in it.
I find myself looking to that now, wondering how I will handle it. I do believe I will handle it well, I am not one that tries to sneak a orgasm, nor once I know I can't get out, try to sneak the keys. (I have made sure that isn't a easy task also). I do wish there were some consequences if I did attempt anything like that but I sit back and know I would never attempt anything like that in the first place.
After about 7-10 days the device starts to become part of my body, I adapt to it and how to deal with all the aspects of life with it. Soon after that, I can almost forget the device at times. This is the point I worry about. Forgetting about the device can also cause me to forget about my "place" and how I should act to my wife. I wonder if this happens to others in Long Term Chastity?
Specially with a wife like mine that isn't kinky, the reminders of my situation with teasing or direct stimulation does not happen with her. So, I have seen myself act out, where I didn't earlier when the device was so easy to remember. As the chastity goes on I wonder, does the effect of the orgasm denial take over the feeling of the device to remind me of my place?
Is this something normal to those in long term chastity or is there something more to come?
Thanks for this. Being "in my place" isn't really an aspect of the chastity part of my submission, but I wanted to comment on the point about sticking to the plan. My wife/owner/KH usually doesn't tell me how long I'm going to be locked, nor does she even usually say whether she's got a time in mind.
ReplyDeleteOne effect of that is it keeps the mindfuck at high pitch ("Will this be the day I'm let out?" vs. "Eh, I know I'm stuck for XX longer. No point thinking about it."). Jalan appreciates that a good deal, but the more general issue from her side is that she retains the control -- she is not constrained by any earlier declarations, even if they were her own.
Always good to see other takes on this!
Wouldn't you agree that even living on a mountain top or on the ocean will result in you becoming accustomed to the view and take it much more for granted, when during those first days and weeks, every day seemed like a 'wow' day when you looked out at the beauty before you? I think long term chastity is like that. Initially it's new, different, exciting, kinky, but after a year or two of wearing something down there, it just becomes commonplace. I feel that way now as well. A year ago at this time it chastity felt wonderful. Now it's just a fact of life. It's who I am - a man kept chaste by his wife.
ReplyDeleteWhat you are highlighting is quite normal. Getting used to and jaded with what we have keeps us going and makes life interesting. The point to keep in mind is that even if you think you have everything and your current situation makes you feel like you "have it made," there is always more left to explore.
ReplyDeleteI'm not suggesting that I know what the next step should be - its something each of us have to figure out for ourselves. What I do know is that if I felt that there must be something more then I'm not going to suppress it simply because I know there are expectations that I should just be grateful for the amazing stuff I already have.
Wanting more is normal and the only way to find out is not to stop wondering while you enjoy the journey.