Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Different frame of mind.
I would use this thought to masturbate to. I would think of things like being locked away and taken with a strap-on, cuckolding, being my wife's high heel maid cleaning the house while all locked away. This fantasies would quickly take care of my sexual build up. Each time I would grow on the fantasies because the thoughts would get old if I thought of the same thing each time.
So, when my fantasy of chastity and reality of being in chastity met, it wasn't the same as the fantasy. Did I expect it to be, no. But I also found that my mental being was different than what I thought it would be in chastity.
I thought I would be all worked up every day, wanting out as much as I wanted to orgasm. I thought that I would not be able to get the chastity out of my mind, that I would do anything to get a reward to get out. That also didn't happen.
However, what has changed and I do feel for the better is my attention to my wife's needs. Now this isn't a 100% better attention but my attention is more focused on her. I am more willing to help around the house and when she is in need. Not to hope to get out of my device. It is because I notice she needs the assistance and I want to.
Before I would do things for her but I really did expect some kind of reward. Now I just do it, I also really, really do enjoy just giving her a orgasm with no worries about mine. It has began to be very erotic to me where my sexual energy is getting very high too now.
But the simple fact, fantasy and reality never really match. Do I think things might go more in one way or another, time will tell. I do know that I am happy wearing the device. I believe that my wife likes the changes in my attitude and attention toward her. I do think that neither of us would want to go back to me not wearing the chastity device.
I never thought I would actually find a device I could wear 24/7 365 if needed. This one I can, and will have to see a year from now where things are......