Feelings without the keys

I sit here knowing that I will have to wait till at least the 25th of October before I may see the keys again. Each time I get locked in, I question myself and the idea of chastity once or twice. Then I think of how I feel knowing I can't have any release without the keys.

I don't want to disappoint you sneaking the keys that is why I am so focused on insuring they are not easy to get to and able to show tamper with the package they are sealed in. One of the largest factors of chastity is the release of the keys without the ability to access them. That stables the mental side of chastity down for me.

Before with all the other devices I had, I could escape, and slip back in without needing the keys. Now I have to have the keys, no way out. This is a security blanked that makes me know that the only way out is to destroy the package or wait. I can wait...

I thought many times of what " I wanted" you to "want" out of the chastity. I think I have figured it out. I basically want you to want to have the keys. Keeping the keys for me is sort of like listening to a song I like because I want you to, even if you don't really care either way. BUT, I also know that with this, and just like with songs, they tend to grow on you and you find that you like the song later on. I hope the same with the idea of keeping me in chastity longer.

I am learning each day that as I know so much about chastity and so vested in chastity, you know very little and have a "it's ok" feeling for it. It doesn't mean it is a bad thing, just a "we need to take time" thing and I not push...

Fantasies

I am amazed at how my fantasies have changed.

You know how wild and complex they were before.....

Now they consist of direct simple acts..

*Seeing you dressed up and in heels, coming home and bringing you to orgasm orally while you still wear the heels.

*You wearing a outfit to bed while I orally bring you to orgasm

*Being released, yet when at the edge or my orgasm, being told to stop, and going back in the device till the next release date.

*Being released, you either orally or using a vibrator, bring me to the edge or a orgasm and me going back in the device till the next release date.

It seems the fantasies I have has some or all of those aspects, nothing more. No Bondage, spanking, Domination.....

*I do think of pegging from time to time but haven't really had any idea how to work it in. Still a interest but a very low interest.

Mental findings within myself

I have made a conclusion that it takes about 7 days for my body and mind to accept the chastity completely. As soon as I put it on I was sexually energized and all thoughts started working through my mind. And of course I was "hinting around" on discussions and my blog to discuss any interest or thoughts you might have.

About day 3 the physical side takes over and I notice every little pull, pinch or tug. Always reaching down and trying to find the comfortable spot.

Around day 5-6 I notice that I don't "notice the device as much" and also don't have the situation on my mind as much.

By day 7 I have all but accepted everything, found my comfort zone mentally and physically and my day to day is back to as if it isn't on. Other than masturbation of course. From what I have read every man is different but usually around the same times (give or take a few days) the same happens usually with those wearing the device on a regular bases.

So I know now, I just need to make the first 7 days and after that I can go as long as wanted...And I sit here thinking, "I could go longer"..... did I say that!@#!@! lol

Another thing I found was more thoughts on my refractory period after having a sexual release. Once I had my release, I found that I was still quite fine with going back into chastity and even that morning I was ok with it. However, by mid day I was questioning going back in and also busy dreaming up some fantasies and good old masturbation to go with it.

It took about 3 days of dreaming up things and masturbating to swing back into thinking about chastity again. By the day 4 (Monday) I was ready to go back in and didn't masturbate at all that day (surprisingly). Tuesday morning I was as excited as I was when I put it on the first time.

I am not sure of your thoughts of when I should go back in but I would suggest either "right away", "next morning" or give it a few days from what I felt last time.

I feel there will always be a "excitement/break-in period"  and if you can deal with that for a bit, but once past that, all is good......

White picket fence

Funny how you drive by a nice house in a nice neighborhood and see a sign like this. We were discussing things like this last night on the forums about how so much goes on behind those "white picket fences".....

It seems that those who point fingers usually have more to hide. Men in the House and Senate looking for Gay sex, having affairs, cross-dressing, caught in BDSM brothels.... The list goes on but yet they would throw down all the vengeance they could to others as long as they don't get caught.

We joked that most couples that would put a sign up like this would be freaked out by a couple using chastity in their relationship. One thing you can be sure of with chastity, no cheating....lol

Skeleton's in the closet

With the fact of being in chastity I have been really seeing myself clear and clearing out the closet so to speak. I would like to clear out the closet more and be able to put it down so that you might read this and know exactly what is 'in the closet" and not have to worry about any hidden skeletons.

You and I both know I have a huge thing for gloves, heels and corsets. Something about the Betty Page pinup is a big thing for me. Dressing up to go out or even in the bedroom.....No surprise there....

Heels for me, one thing they do is make my feet feel so much better and I do just like to wear them. Yet I don't want a 'girly" heel, and yet to find the "perfect pair". I only have one pair and you know of them and only wear them from time to time when my feet hurt or I just want to.

Pegging, yes it is still a interest but as you can remember the last time we did this, it isn't a "BIG" thing and think if it is ever done, it always will have to be a planned thing and a special occasion. I kept the supplies for this because I know I do still have some interest in it.

As for everything else, I have cleared out a great deal of things BDSM type things because with chastity I have found the only thing I really need is being in the chastity and you wanting me in the chastity. There is no better control and devotion than that.

I have a few things more that I will be trying to "offload" and will be clear of anything other than the things above I have told you. Even tho the chastity is "old" yet "very new" for us, it came along at a perfect time with me learning so much about myself and interest and curbing the masturbation cleared up the rest.

The future will be interesting and happily there shouldn't be any surprises from me.....:)

web finding-Blog I read

Questions answered this blog spot:

*What is considered “long term chastity”?

*How much time can pass between a man’s orgasms?

*Are there any medical or mental side effects of long term chastity?

*How can we make long term chastity work for us?

The definition of “long term” is not defined by date completely. It is defined by the couple and how they use chastity. Some couples may only chastity a few days at a time with a release, where other couples may go years without a release. So to justify long term would be quantified by extending the amount of time in chastity from the normal.

I man can technically never orgasm. In religion priest, monks take a vow of celibacy. In chastity, it is up to the couple.

There are no direct medical side effects of long term chastity. There is a chance of skin irritations, rashes, and pinching from the device but that can happen within hours or months. Hygiene is the critical cause of those issues.

Mentally there can be an effect of long term chastity. Every male has his “breaking point” where either he will just except the situation happily and go on, get frustrated, want out, whine, or become irritable. The mental side of chastity can be controlled by the Keyholder and the attention given to the chaste. Less attention, more of the negative mental side, more attention, usually positive results and typically with more attention the more willing the male is to stay in chastity longer. 

Making long term chastity work is simple, have him stay in longer than “normal” and you are in long term chastity. Some will make two weeks and be longer than before where others may require months or years.

The situation with my husband, he is in continuous chastity with small breaks; the longest he has gone is over 6 months and the shortest time is one week. The breaks are for sexual release and depending on the situation he can go back in chastity right away or stay out for up to a week. This all depends on the situation and the ability for me to show attention to him as much as it is him being able to wear the device.

 

The best advice I can give this post;

Communication is "key". Chastity is a loving act of devotion for almost all chaste. 

Keyholder, understand the easier it is to keep him in chastity depends on the amount of attention your willing to give to him. Simple affection, allowing him to show his devotion, direct discussion or stimulation, or basic flirting.

Chaste, understand "you wanted this" and it is almost always new to the keyholder. The keyholder does not know much about chastity and time must be given to find their comfort zone. Take a breath and be happy you are in chastity, have a keyholder and see what happens next.

Different this time

When I got the device I was excited about the situation and the design. Many thoughts went through my mind. Of course the one of being in the device and you keeping the keys. Yet I was able to put it on, and go 30 days with out too many issues. Even sexually I didn't have too much of a problem going the 30 days. This of course surprised me a great deal.

The release was fantastic and more than I could have imagined. I wanted it to last for longer and yet I wanted to feel it all at once.

This time, I get very sexually worked up from time to time. My nipples get sensitive, just touching you sends little bolts of electricity through me. I was warned that once things come more "real" with the chastity it would happen. Specially the effect your touch would have on me. I love the idea and couldn't believe how true it is.

I see what they say on the forums when taking out their wife's and having them dressed up is a real workup.

I believe part of this is because of your comment of being ok with everything and the chance that you will become more comfortable and find some fun with this too. I find all my ideas, fantasies and sexual energy is all about you, and I love that more than anything..

Well, not as much as I love you but close :)

Love this pic.

It kind of says it all.

Now I look forward to the kissing, cuddling and flirting, without sex. :)

Sometimes I miss

I am glad to know you are OK with everything. Much of my fears and anxiety about this was your thoughts and how you were dealing with the idea. 

I should know that I am going 100mph where you are just sitting in the driveway planning your trip...lol

My actions and discussions about the chastity will now stop unless you bring it up (which I don't see that happening often). Just knowing your OK and not doing this "just for me" is a huge thing.

I can express my thoughts here and when you feel like it and read you will get to learn a few things about my thoughts and experiences with the device.

Love ya.

Thoughts on you

I find myself during the day thinking of you and how your doing even when not around you. I have found that I want to give more affection to you but do not want you to think this is some plot to get out early. I just find that curbing my masturbation has also caused my interest to shift from fantasies to the reality sitting next to me (you).

I think that having a planned date for possible release works really well compared to not knowing when. I was reading a lot and found that most pester the keyholder for a release or do "nice things" to get rewarded with a release.

I would like to know how you feel about reading things here, if it is any help? If it isn't any help? Is it better to talk in person or give you the ability to get in the mood to read and then read this?

I do feel this is like the planets aligning when it comes to us. I would like to see how this goes and where it takes us. One thing I do need more than anything, if you are not comfortable with this, I just need to know. The roller coaster has been hard on you and I understand and would rather have your honest opinion than one that was made up not to hurt my feelings.

Love ya.

Interesting post found

I found a interesting post that put a lot of things in prospective when I always use the word "tease". It seems to be written by a female and well put. Thought I would share.

So your using chastity now, tease and denial has been brought up, what to do? My husband did the same with me and this is a small guide to those that need help.

*Not doing anything is the same as neglect

*The smallest thing can achieve as much as the largest

*Equal focus can be made outside the bedroom as much as in the bedroom

Simple suggestions;

1.      Perfume- smells can bring a lot of emotions with a man

2.      Clothing- favorite piece, heels, dress will do a lot

3.      Touching- a simple touch here and there

4.      Vocal- talking or letting him talk about chastity

5.      Symbols- necklace, picture, tattoo

Advanced suggestions (bedroom);

1.      Finding the magic spot- ear, neck, nipple and paying attention to it

2.      Vocal- discuss a happy point you have about him in chastity, or his device

3.      Physical contact- touching the device

4.      Clothing- lingerie, heels, favorite outfit

5.      Sexual act without release

Two acts I find most effective with my husband;

1.      Sitting on top of my husband while he is on his back (in bed). I feel his device on my butt, and move a bit and find his magic spots; letting him tell me how he likes the situation he is in.

2.      Hitachi vibrator, using it on his cage but not to the point of ejaculation (The Hitachi is wonderful for personal use and for him to use on you also)

Men need reassurance that we are ok/enjoy/want them in chastity. When in chastity they also need some attention if left in the device for longer periods to keep their happiness to be in the device. If done correctly my husband has passed up scheduled releases because of the effect of the tease and denial.

No suggestion or idea may work or all of them may for other couples. This is just a example of what I do with my husband over the years and has worked for us. Find what works for you and enjoy.

Two things that have not changed.

I still love heels and leather gloves.... Love the idea of them more on you.... I think I need to plan places for us to go so that we might get dressed up so that you can wear those things and drive me crazy :)

Just had to say.... Love ya.

My comment.

I made the comment the other night before. If I could have anything it would be "You wanting me in chastity".

I don't want to "try" to get you into the idea more by "trying" to act differently or do things just to get you into the idea. I read about guys trying to "trick" their wife into seeing that advantage of chastity.

I have seen a change and felt a change from the natural fact of not being able to masturbate and feel it is a very positive effect. I feel very nervous when I speak with you about chastity because of such a roller coaster ride I have sent you through these years. I feel this can be a financial boost and also can be a relationship boost. 

I would love for you to be comfortable and enjoy the fact of the chastity. I would love for you to be able to flirt, and so forth with no worries of sexual advancement out of me so we both could enjoy those moments more.

One thing I would like to propose this month, I stay in till the 20th. if you agree. I have two Thursday's before that I would like to focus completely on you. Still have "date night" and sexually focused on you alone. If "situations come up-that time of the month" I can still focus on you with a massage and so forth if you like.

What do you think?

Love you.