How long is "not long enough"?

I find myself in a internal battle within myself. In one moment I am wanting to get out of my device and feel a orgasm with my wife and in a another moment I am wanting to lose the roll coming up on the next date and have to wait more time.

When I think of a orgasm I get excited and can feel my cage, but when I think of having to wait longer the cage becomes more of a test of will then. My excitement is greater when thinking of being required to hold off longer.

I think part of my thoughts to hold off are for my wife to grow more into the idea of me in chastity and her free to orgasm. Thus giving her more interest in teasing me and letting me know my position while I bring her to a orgasm. I guess however, the true effect of my wishes will not be known till our next date night and she rolls the dice.

Random thoughts

I find that one thing that has changed in chastity from before is the ability to recognize when my wife wants or needs help. That is something that is lost in the years of marriage just like the sexual energy that is lost a lot of times in a marriage because of age and situations (kids-work-life). I was sitting back and thought how I noticed myself opening the door for her, thinking about taking out the trash, and in general just thinking about her needs more.

With our situation, there is no "kinky" stimulation, teasing, denial,  it is a flat "I'm in chastity". Once a week, we have date night, after I run her a bath and have convinced her to allow me to bring her to a orgasm. Right after the orgasm it is a kiss on the cheek and off to bed she goes. Could you call that a tease and denial, "technically yes" but there is no effort on her part.

The vanilla aspect of her interest has not changed that much, there has been some glimmers of light here and there but really I think she would just say "ok" if I wanted to stop with the chastity.

Then again, there is a hope that she has seen the good sides of chastity and not want me to quit. I find that pretty much all day every day I am fine with the chastity it is only when I wake up at night, with that pinch or poke needing to go to the bathroom to get it all to relax and get back to bed. As I sit there my mind wanders to "why am I doing this? She could care less I bet." Then the morning comes and things are back to normal.

I think the glimmer of hope that she will find some more interest in chastity and have more of a input or control over the situation keeps me going. Right now it is a game, we use dice to decide how long I am in and how I will receive a orgasm. I sit and think what more I would want and I find many times not being able to answer that question.

I think the thing I look for all the time is that "attitude" and need to feel the position I am in. I know my wife would never want to control finances nor major decisions without a discussion or me just handling it. However, in a FLM that can still be the male's job. I almost think that the "attitude"  I am looking for is of a "Queen" and that feeling of royalty yet I would be a commoner, servant to her in many ways.

We both tend to watch med-evil shows and I find the power very attractive of the Queen, "The Knights Tale" is a good example, doing anything to show his love.

At bended knee for my love.....

Sexual energy and daily life

At least for myself when in chastity, it is for my wife, as if the device doesn't exist 98% of the time. There have been some remarks or comments here and their that cause tingling of my sexual energy but only for a moment in time.

Most the time, things are as usual. Just, I can't release the sexual energy I have built up. I find myself getting frustrated some days and most days, comfortable in my position. Would I like more interaction from my wife, "yes". Yet, when I say that I step back and think, "What interaction would that be?" and I have no clue.......

The one thing that doesn't involve any sexual act on her part is just pointing out the fact she knows I am in chastity and she has the control over the keys. It has been 60 days plus 6-8 more and there has only been 2-3 times she has commented on the fact. I look at this picture and see a man sexually energized because the female is "paying attention" to him..lol

I know a lot of men in chastity do not need a lot of teasing and denial, more just the fact that they know that they wife/keyholder remembers they are in chastity and have gave up the control to them.

 I know with the idea that my wife points out my chastity and any enjoyment or "likes" she has about it would cause me to want to stay in chastity as long as she would like me to. I know that chastity has had a great impact on my sexual fantasy - to reality needs. Before any sexual fantasy I had I wanted to bring to reality. Now I can have those fantasies yet understand they will not become reality without my wife's consent.  And I don't tend to want to bring them up to her because I can't act on them in chastity....

There is on but, good to still think as a fantasy...

......
:)

Porn and chastity

One thing I still do is look at porn. I still love looking at Dominate dressed females showing control over men. I enjoy finding chat online to discuss the ideas of chastity and different fetish/kinky interest.

Before I would use this information just to come up with a new fantasy to masturbate with. Of course almost all the fantasies would include my wife being the woman in the fantasy. I would hope that in some way that chastity would spark a fetish side of my wife getting her interested into more fetish ideas.

Of course I knew this was also a fantasy. My wife doesn't have a fetish bone in her body, and any fantasies she has I wouldn't know of. But my interest in porn now comes to the idea of how I might make her orgasm stronger and to allow her to relax and enjoy the orgasm more.

I have been able to come to the understand that my "Fantasies" will always be "fantasies" and nothing more with my wife. There might be a small change with my relationship with my wife over the years to come but think that also, the fantasies should stay fantasies.

Not being able to masturbate causes me to not get worked up over fantasies and try to bring them into our bedroom.

One of my new "porn" pictures I love is the one above. Something is so erotic now of being completely naked, wife completely dressed having a orgasm and then just rolling off to do as she wants as I am left in chastity and feeling like a "toy" she uses when needed.

Different frame of mind.

When I thought about chastity and my wife, the changes that could happen and how it could bring so much to our sex life and my thoughts of the lifestyle, I had visions of my wife sitting in shinny clothing being all "Dom" and requesting things as I mouse around submitting to her........

I would use this thought to masturbate to. I would think of things like being locked away and taken with a strap-on, cuckolding, being my wife's high heel maid cleaning the house while all locked away. This fantasies would quickly take care of my sexual build up. Each time I would grow on the fantasies because the thoughts would get old if I thought of the same thing each time.

So, when my fantasy of chastity and reality of being in chastity met, it wasn't the same as the fantasy. Did I expect it to be, no. But I also found that my mental being was different than what I thought it would be in chastity.

I thought I would be all worked up every day, wanting out as much as I wanted to orgasm. I thought that I would not be able to get the chastity out of my mind, that I would do anything to get a reward to get out. That also didn't happen.

What I did find out was, life continued, I would notice the device when I bent down or moved the wrong way. It almost has become part of my body now. My wife doesn't wear leather or act's Dom to me at all. Nothing has really changed other than I don't masturbate anymore when it comes to the kinky side of things.

However, what has changed and I do feel for the better is my attention to my wife's needs. Now this isn't a 100% better attention but my attention is more focused on her. I am more willing to help around the house and when she is in need. Not to hope to get out of my device. It is because I notice she needs the assistance and I want to.

Before I would do things for her but I really did expect some kind of reward. Now I just do it, I also really, really do enjoy just giving her a orgasm with no worries about mine. It has began to be very erotic to me where my sexual energy is getting very high too now.

But the simple fact, fantasy and reality never really match. Do I think things might go more in one way or another, time will tell. I do know that I am happy wearing the device. I believe that my wife likes the changes in my attitude and attention toward her. I do think that neither of us would want to go back to me not wearing the chastity device.

I never thought I would actually find a device I could wear 24/7 365 if needed. This one I can, and will have to see a year from now where things are......

Blog Post change.

My blog has been directed to my wife so that she might read when she was able to and find some of my thoughts. We have came to the point where we have connected all the dots we need to between us with the chastity and how we will use it in our relationship.

I am going to change the theme of my blog to a more "open thoughts" of mine in general related to chastity and open up to the suggestions of comments if liked and go from there.

I know there are many out there searching to find the right device and the right way to introduce the idea to their partners. I feel I have more of a vanilla way of introducing and also know way too much about way too many devices.. LOL

Soon a new post will come, comments are welcome.

Hitting that point

For myself, the excitement of having the device, the effect that it has mentally on my sexual interest, and enjoyment of you just being part of this has carried me a long way. I was able to take care of you and enjoy the moment with no heavy sexual tension. Last night changed that. I found that I was sexually energized more than I knew what to do with, just bringing you to a orgasm. I (for lack of better terms) was "leaking" pre-cum from the experience without any physical contact to you in any way. I was wanting to really be in contact with you and personally take care of you. I did however want you to be able to place yourself into the thoughts and fantasies  you wanted to be in without outside interference from me. Using the vibrator with no physical contact allows that and watching your body movements is very exciting!

Mentally up to this point, it was about wearing the device, I find now a new side that is the true feeling I do not have control over my orgasm. This is a point many have spoke about that changes the chastity aspect and allows me to really feel the full effects of the chastity, submission and devotion I have given up.

Reaching this is exhilarating because I was unsure if I could mentally reach this point because I had wanted chastity for so long. It will be a mental challenge for me now because I am sexually excited easier and have many more weeks before a chance to roll.

I do believe that if I could take all the years, before with the roller coaster of  sexual interest and throw them out, I would and step back with this device. I would be willing it wear it from then to now, without being out, just to not have you go through the discomfort of the interest I brought you.

Physically and mentally, day to day, this does not change me in any way, nor does it for our family, our interaction within the normal world. Just under the sheets, I am really controlled by you and I love that feeling, as much as I love you. The submission and devotion is a complete aspect of my feelings to you and all this is doing is drawing me close to you than ever, and putting your feelings in front of mine even more.

Blog Break. LOL

Three things I think you need for the winter. :)

I believe every girl needs a pair of red pumps, matching handbag and leather gloves... Don't you think? Specially with your black dress and black leather coat...

Squirt with water/ 2 more weeks.

You know when you said "five, six" I knew exactly what you meant. At first I thought to play it off but that's not what I want and I want you to be able to feel comfortable making a point like that. This isn't a game to me and if I feel that way I can't blow off when you say something like that.

I am very happy to know that you felt comfortable doing that and hope you will feel comfortable doing it again if needed. Like I said before, I want you to have control and feel comfortable with it. Also this will allow me to learn not to be a ass.

We had the the 4 week roll that put me at Nov 29th. Since I was a ass and deserve what you gave me the next roll will be Dec 13th if everything physical and normal life allows us to have "date night".

Thank you for being my wife, lover, soul mate and keyholder.

Time brings peace.

In the realm of things, the reality of myself being in chastity "real time" and it not being just some "game" it has only been such a short time.

I was discussing the other day on the forums and started thinking it was 2001 when I first got the CB2000 and first device. It has been 11 years and only a few months ago did the stars and planets aline and the device be so perfect for "real wear".

My excitement has been high because how well things are going. Now that we have found a way to determine time and type of release, I have hoped that any stress has been removed for you. I also find that before I had not stipulation to the idea of chastity so my mind would wander to all sort of thoughts. With this, I have found a peace and comfort in my position.

I have always wanted to give more to you than just my heart, and love. With this I give you all I can and even tho it may not mean anything to you, I love wearing my necklace with my pendant. It is a symbol to me of my devotion and submission of my self to you in more ways than anyone could guess.

I do believe that as time goes by my excitement will relax and I will just enjoy my position as we find our way. 

Offical Rules.

After looking over the rules, I have adjusted the rules to suit us best. 

·       After 28-30 days (4 week / Date night minimum) the game can be played after “date night is over”. If personal or physical issues come up the game will be played on the next available date night. All “release” rolls will be played out on NEXT available “Date Night”.

·       One roll of dice by You.

·       ROLL 12 = “Denied” for 4 more weeks.

·       ROLL 10 = “Release – vibrator, free air orgasm” – when orgasm begins - all stimulation is stopped and removed.

·       ROLL 8 = “Release – intercourse”

ROLL 6 = “Release – Outfit/Permission required intercourse” (outfit – aka. heels and/or leather gloves) Must ask permission for orgasm, possible outfit when more comfortable.

·       ROLL 4 = “Release – vibrator, masturbation, intercourse” (Your Choice).

·       ROLL 2 = “Your Choice, or Re-roll of dice” (if re-roll & denied - double time)

·       ROLL any other Number = “Denied” for 2 more weeks or “Date Nights”.

** Device is placed back on same night of release, restarting 4 week minimum. All dates can be pushed back by You for any reason, or added time. **

New favorite "want to buy" website

If asked, this would be the most sexy outfit to see on a "date night"!!! Of course would have to have better and higher heels than shown for a "date night".

Maybe winter add a nice leather coat and leather wrist gloves.

I found this website : http://www.pinupgirlclothing.com

I now want to order things from it. The 50's pin up clothing is such a turn-on and if I had to pick the most sexually exciting outfit it would be this one. Something about a white top with black skirt makes me melt. I normally like pencil skirts but this one does something for me. I think it looks more elegant I guess.

Absolut Chastity :)

Chastity is not just about sex rather a way of life

For so many years I lived in the "fantasy" side of chastity, with that comes every thought relating to sex. All the time I would think of being in chastity and how we could have sex with me in and how I would get out to have sex. I would use pictures online of chastity to masturbate too. Every device up to this one failed me in one way or another and for that reason I felt that I stayed in the fantasy world with the idea of chastity. If in the old devices all I would think about was how to get out and fantasies about sex and domination.

My fantasies would fuel the ideas of chastity and would spiral back at each other.

Once having this device all that changed. When I really found that there was "no way out" without the key my views changed. I started to realize there was much more to chastity than sex. I found that chastity wasn't something that you "played with" if you wanted to really get the full effect and mindset that I wanted from the beginning. Now being in the device, I don't think about sex all the time, I in fact can forget it is even on. I do find that anything sexual sparks my interest, my thoughts shift to the device, then to you. I find that my fantasies of wild experiences have gone away.

I feel that the reason is, I am living in chastity and in reality. I know understand the saying "chastity is not just about sex rather a way of life".


Now we just need to get you to "hide the keys" lol.

My new study....

I have been reading about how to give better massages and more sensual massages for you. I would love to be able to give you a massage or two each week in the evenings to help you relax. I look only to give you a massage before bedtime so that you might slip off to sleep better and sleep better.

Yes I enjoy touching your body and being connected to you through the massage. There are many groups I have found explaining different lotions and ways to make your massage as enjoyable as I can.

I also have been reading on how to make your bath better by giving you a massage/bathing at the same time while you relax in the tub. That is something I am still reading on and if you are interested I would like to try to see if you enjoy that in a nice warm bath....

My sexual thoughts.

I find myself loving this picture like no other. It seems all my sexual thoughts have past from myself achieving a orgasm to bringing you to one. My sexual energy grows thinking about hearing your breath increase, watching your body move, hearing your moans, and finally hearing your orgasm.

I find that my sexual tension grows with your building orgasm and then relaxes some once you orgasm. Yes, I am sexually energized and would love you to give me a bit of teasing by playing with my nipples or a little poke here or there, yet I am happy hearing your orgasm.

I was thinking about this and realized that at one time we went over a year without intercourse. I however did not go more than a day without a orgasm. I have no clue what you did, and I feel selfish for that. I find that I want to make up for it and I enjoy getting to please you each week with no focus on me.

It was asked on the forums what is the number one fantasy we have and I found mine being this...
_________________________________________________________________
Date night is planned as usual, You tell me that you would like to go out somewhere nice and to dress for the occasion.  You look lovely and in high heels teasing my thoughts by just looking at you. I find that our discussions through the dinner fall all over the place but it also includes chastity a bit, and you even "tease" a bit about the idea of my chastity.

Once home, I am quite worked up and ready to take care of you and find that you have changed into a nice Chemise and Robe Set like this --(http://www.mylittlespace4everything.com/2012/05/peggie-chemise-and-robe-set-plus-size.html) and a set of high heels.

My breath is taken away and you request me on the bed. I quickly find my place beside you, kissing, I smell you perfume, I feel the cloth on you, my tension is high, your hands find my nipples and as week kiss you tease me. I try to go south to take care of you yet you hold me off a bit first to tease me again. As I find my place between your legs, our little friend does his job, and you place your heels on my shoulders, as I feel the heels my sexual tension only builds.

Your orgasm comes close, I feel my sexual tension grow as yours does, as you orgasm, I feel a shiver through me as if a small release of sexual tension with your orgasm. I slide back beside you, we kiss, you tweak a nipple and say "well lets see how lucky you are" and I grab the dice so that you roll for my fate..... Then ending??? that depends on the number... :)
__________________________________________________________________

Funny how it went from the long drawn out scripts of "do this" and then "do that" and then, "pull this" and then "pull that" just for me to, what it is now...

I can only say I have never been happier being in chastity and focusing my energy on you. I only hope that this will continue and your acceptance and enjoyment will grow with time. I see nothing more in my future other than what we have talked about (adding things)....

I look forward to date night....... :)  <3 
 

Donated a bit for a friend of mine in need.

A friend of mine from the forums that lives in Dallas is raising money for his wife. She has breast cancer and they have bills adding up a bit.

He is in chastity also and came up with a "game" that can be used for couples in chastity. I got it for a $10.00 donation to his wife's bills. I would have just gave him the money...

The game I would like to show you. it is pretty cool. If you are up to it, I will ask and show you. He has a good idea. I told him to put it on ebay and create a website.

Thought of the day, requires possible action.

Discussing on a forum many of us explained how we deal with the main and emergency keys. My emergency keys being in the one time use box was very popular because the majority of men in chastity do not want to have access to any keys but if they do need access, we all want it be known when we access the keys. The Main keys being in the little package that would show tampering was a good discussion. The point was made that access was too easy to the Main keys. Temptation could happen and with a good knife and glue could be defeated.

Many talk about the disappointment and feeling of mistrust the "Keyholder" would feel. This got me thinking, the keys are just sitting in the closet on my top shelf by the door. I could just open the package, release myself, and put them back. You don't really pay attention to them when I do get to remove the device. For this, it ate at me a bit. The chastity funnels my sexual energy away from other things, and keeps me in "check" so to speak.

My thought, what would you feel if I cheated on the chastity, sneaking a key for a release? Would it really matter to you? I have not cheated, nor do I plan too. Yet I wish for you (at least at some point) to care if I got out without it being ok'ed by you.

I look at the short period of three months that I have been in "full time" chastity and know mentally I am different and I feel for the better. I was thinking about it and how different I see things, how my fantasies are now, and just the disconnect from the fetish, kinky things. I am very happy where I am and any my want and need to focus on you and your needs over mine. 

My thought of the day, requires action.... I would like you to answer me using the suggestion below?

If you don't really care, and don't see any improvement in our relationship, and could care less if we went back to how we were before. Just leave the keys were they are. I understand.

If you find that things have been better, you do see a improvement, and look to see more improvements over how it was before, Just take the key package and put it somewhere "up" where I don't know where it is.

I will "let you know I blogged" and "at some point will check to see if you read it so that I will know your answer.

Life is good in the woods....

Sexual Relations

The term “sexual relations” has changed for me. For years now I have considered “sexual relations” to be “intercourse”. Giving or receiving head didn’t seem that intimate to me compared to intercourse.

With the addition of my chastity I see now how intimate I can be causing a orgasm orally or with a vibrator not even touching at all physically.

Reading blogs and forums I found couples that have one sided orgasm’s all the time with and without the use of intercourse. One woman can’t orgasm in any way other than using the bathtub and running water. Intercourse is completely one sided and she solo’s her orgasm. One guy has erectile dysfunction and their intercourse is one sided with him using a strap-on for her or giving her oral. He has to solo his orgasm with the use of a strong vibrator. There are many examples with different stories and of course just as many with the use of chastity and one sided orgasm’s being for the female only.

The one thing I have found being in my device these months is the fulfilled feeling I have hearing an orgasm and watching without having one. Before it was a step to my orgasm, now it is a fulfillment of pleasure for both.  With the addition of the Hitachi wand I am hoping for even higher of a orgasm to be reached and for me to get to see that and help it get achieved.

Chastity has changed the way I look at sex and the way I think about sex. Before it was all about me, all about my fantasies and exploring every one of them as much as I could, now it is looking forward to hearing that orgasm, and knowing that sexual pleasure has been achieved. Using a vibrator seems to be the best way and easiest to achieve the orgasm and intensity seems to be increased. With the Hitachi everything I have seen and read says it will be even stronger. I hope it will be and I will be able to be part of it.

For all the years of marriage my orgasm has been the focus of our “sexual relations” with chastity that has changed and I can’t be happier. I now really want my sexual release to be a very small part of our “sexual relations” and the total focus is on a heightened, relaxed and enjoyable orgasm that stays with the ability to lay there and enjoy without having to deal with my orgasm.

I would love to change the weekly encounters to bi-weekly, hell I would do it every night if allowed. Before any intimate touch went directly to the thoughts of me getting an orgasm, now I find when I receive an intimate touch my sexual energy rises and I just enjoy the touch. I know my chastity is there and it isn’t coming off.

One difference between the other entire lockup’s and this one was I knew I had 30 days before a release date. This time no date was scheduled, and I will not ask to be let out. I am just going to wait till the time comes. Long as I am getting to focus on solo orgasm’s and knowing that for a change that it isn’t all about me, I feel I have many years of making up for all the years I have be so selfish.

Interesting Pegging info

 

 After reading about the couple I last posted about I began reading about pegging and found this quite interesting...

Why Would a Woman Want to Peg Her Man?

• Pegging can bring a man exquisitely intense pleasure; orgasms 10 times more powerful than usual and in many cases with no penis stimulation.
• Some women find they can orgasm while pegging their man, too. There is a variety of strap-ons, some with vibrators, or vibrators under the strap-on with directly stimulation.
• Some women enjoy the role reversal.
• The increased strength of the orgasm can only be achieved with the act of pegging and most women enjoy seeing the orgasm, brings couples closer together and more intimate..

Why Would a Man Want to Be Pegged?

• Pegging can provide him with orgasms 10 times more powerful that he has ever experienced possibly with no direct stimulation.
• Connect on a more intimate level with their partner and the intensity can only be reached with a partner pegging.
• Multiple orgasms from pegging are enjoyed by some men as well.
• Very few women can orgasm by intercourse, with pegging it is one way both can orgasm "at the same time" with direct stimulation the orgasm can be timed together.

Where is the Prostate Gland?
The prostate gland, which is the source of pleasure for men during pegging, is located under the bladder, in front of the rectum and at the base of a man’s penis. It can be stimulated through the anus with a finger, toy or dildo. If the man is laying on his stomach, push in and down. If he is laying on his back, push in and up. In that position, many men enjoy a rhythmic stroking, as if you were making a “come hither” motion with your finger. If women are familiar with the location of their G-spot (now being called the female prostate), the location is pretty much the same, interestingly enough.

Pegging and Male Chastity?
Pegging gives the ability for a orgasm with no direct stimulation to the penis. Many that use chastity, find the ability to achieve a orgasm without ever removing the device. When attempting with a vibrator many devices made of plastic and or steel cause more discomfort than pleasure and a orgasm is not able to be achieved. The use of male chastity limits the amount of orgasm's and heightens the sensitivity of the prostrate gland, pegging takes advantage of that and can cause multiple orgasm's or one extremely strong orgasm. This is a very common and utilized practice in the male chastity world.

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KarenJ49 wrote:

"My husband and I have used pegging and male chastity for years. He enjoys the restraint of self pleasure, and pleasing me on a regular basis without a orgasm. I enjoy the orgasm's without needing intercourse. Pegging brought a new light to our relationship. His orgasm's have been indescribably strong with pegging and I never took his cage off. The only penetration we have now is me pegging him. Oral does just fine for my orgasm, and for his, pegging."

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Bronco wrote:

For guys who know, it is the ultimate and most intense orgasm.
In my case, an orgasm can come from any combination of three places: penis glans, prostate gland, and anal sensitive tissues.

Anal and prostate stimulation gives me a massive powerful and deep orgasm.
The best part is that I can have multiple orgasms without losing my erection, even though jizz is flying everywhere.
If I do not touch my cock, I can orgasm repeatedly. Five times is the record to date.

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We know I enjoy the idea of pegging, the intensity is very strong for me also. I have not thought of it and chastity being used at the same time. However, after reading about this, I am more interested in the idea. This of course would be if I stay in longer between releases, and/or not every time thing. This is just a idea, would need to have communication from you of course. :)