On July 31st, 2013 I put my Looker 03 on for the first time. Wearing it for 30 days straight with no issues and knowing that I had found the device I had been searching for. This was a exciting time, the frustrations of fitting and escape had washed away. The thought quicklu came to, "how long could I go in it?"
I fast forward to today and look at 100 days so far with 169 to go. My wfie had never been able to go "all-in" with the idea of chastity because of the issues before. Plus soon as I would be in the device the sexual buildup would have me all over her. As my blog shows in past post, we have tried different games or ideas for when I would be locked up and when I would be released.
I am not quite sure how things have changed so much over the last few weeks. I have found a comfort in the device and enjoyment of bringing my wife to a orgasm with no possible chance for a release from the device. We have discussed the possiblities of not having to remove the deviceto achieve a orgasm for me. Using a strong vibrator or the newest interest I have found "nipple orgasms".
It seems that many men have been able to achieve "nipple orgasms" with no stimulation to the penis. This requires the male to have their nipples be one of their high erotic zones. My nipples are my HIGHEST erotic zone...
Something that interest me greatly is the mental shift that happens when in long term chastity. Shifting from the thought "will I get out tonight" to "why do I need out", I enjoy getting to orgasm, I enjoy intercourse, yet I find being kept from it a very erotic/comforting/connecting place also.
I will see if this is a constant feeling as the days go by or changes.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
TIme ticks by
It seems that each day that goes by things stay about the same. My sexual drive is up there and if there is any attention or chance for getting my wife off I am jumping at the idea.
Last night, she seemed in the mood, I offered a nice bath. She accepted and after I gave her a great massage, I was getting all worked up thinking that she will enjoy a nice orgasm and then might feel up for some more kissing and making out after. However, once the massage was finished (maybe I was too good) she was almost asleep. She was so relaxed she decided to pass up on me taking care of her.
This was a bit of a low because I had got sexually charged thinking I would at least get to give her a orgasm, I didn't however miss any chance to get out (knowing there would be none) I started thinking how my sexual energy is focused more on her.
I am looking forward to the colder months she tends to like to snuggle close when it is cold. Right now in Texas it is too hot to get close to anyone at night lol.
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Took the next step, a big step
I have been in my device for right at 85 days now. I found that over the last few months a few things have happened that didn't happen before.
The first time I was locked in my device for 87 days we were playing a dice game that I made up and with the way I rolled the dice each time I got a change to get out it worked out that I was at day 87 when I got a release. Now each week I would roll and end up with either more days and it was completely sexual. Every day I thought XXX days till I roll again and had a chance to get out. This was very exciting and frustrating at the same time. However, when I did finally get my release, it was more of a letdown than what I expected. There wasn't fireworks going off in my head it was just a "good orgasm".... Nothing more... nothing less... Then we took a long break and the experience was chalked up and we went on.
This time, there was no set time in the device, there were no dice games, just wear it till she is in the mood. The first two months it were very sexually based. I was looking each time for a possible outing and none came. As month 3 rolled around I noticed things started changing. My sexual energy began to switch from the device to my wife. Her touch became like electricity running through me. She would "tweak" my nipples and this would drive me crazy with lust (Love my nipples to be played with).
Each week we have sat time aside so that I can take care of her orgasm. Last week, once done I slipped up to her and we were kissing, she began to play with my nipples. Fireworks went off in my head, electricity shot through me, I felt like I was on the edge of a orgasm when she smiled and stopped. I was in heaven. She drifted off to sleep and I found that men can orgasm from nipple stimulation alone with no attention to the penis. I knew I was one of the guys that could achieve this if she would have continued. I drifted off to sleep loving the experience.
I noticed each day when I kiss her and when we touch it is almost a pleasure itself like no other now. I believe it is because of the chastity and began to think.... This is why some don't want out of their devices..... My wife does not need intercourse at all to orgasm and intercourse has only been for my pleasure alone all these years (I always take care of her first). I sat down and thought, could I go a lot longer, with no chance of a outing? Could I achieve a orgasm with no stimulation alone to the penis? Was I willing to give it all up, to totally devote myself to my wife for a longer period?
A few days went by with me thinking long and hard about it. I made the decision and wrote the email. Knowing I needed to pick a day far in the distance but not too far so that I could really know if my feelings were still totally sexual or genuine to my wife, love and devotion for her. I decided one day we could remember easy, January 31st. When all W2's have to be sent out .lol.
I asked her to hold the keys with no release or removal (other than needed for doctor or metal detectors) and of course our weekly times to enjoy. She agreed easily saying she has seen a good shift of my personality and attention toward her and our relationship the last month. So with that said, 6 months are now on my path with no removal. I have dreamed of the day where I would not have a chance to choose. This day is now. I believe that once 2015 comes I will have only been "free" 82 days in 2014.. What a change from years past.
In 2015 once we reach that day, she has agreed to assess the experience and decide if I ever need to be released again for intercourse or sexual pleasure. She did say that she might use a vibrator while I am in my device and I of course have no issues with that! She also wants to see if I can orgasm from nipple stimulation alone before every trying a vibrator. Being semi-permanent based will see if I can mentally deal with the situation and if it is good/bad/does nothing for our relationship.
I know that my focus is 100% on her and can only see it growing as the months go by. When she came to me and said she would be glad to just keep the keys and see how things go in 2015 I was excited beyond believe and also a bit scare. Time will tell and I think my thoughts will end up here on a regular bases.
The first time I was locked in my device for 87 days we were playing a dice game that I made up and with the way I rolled the dice each time I got a change to get out it worked out that I was at day 87 when I got a release. Now each week I would roll and end up with either more days and it was completely sexual. Every day I thought XXX days till I roll again and had a chance to get out. This was very exciting and frustrating at the same time. However, when I did finally get my release, it was more of a letdown than what I expected. There wasn't fireworks going off in my head it was just a "good orgasm".... Nothing more... nothing less... Then we took a long break and the experience was chalked up and we went on.
This time, there was no set time in the device, there were no dice games, just wear it till she is in the mood. The first two months it were very sexually based. I was looking each time for a possible outing and none came. As month 3 rolled around I noticed things started changing. My sexual energy began to switch from the device to my wife. Her touch became like electricity running through me. She would "tweak" my nipples and this would drive me crazy with lust (Love my nipples to be played with).
Each week we have sat time aside so that I can take care of her orgasm. Last week, once done I slipped up to her and we were kissing, she began to play with my nipples. Fireworks went off in my head, electricity shot through me, I felt like I was on the edge of a orgasm when she smiled and stopped. I was in heaven. She drifted off to sleep and I found that men can orgasm from nipple stimulation alone with no attention to the penis. I knew I was one of the guys that could achieve this if she would have continued. I drifted off to sleep loving the experience.
I noticed each day when I kiss her and when we touch it is almost a pleasure itself like no other now. I believe it is because of the chastity and began to think.... This is why some don't want out of their devices..... My wife does not need intercourse at all to orgasm and intercourse has only been for my pleasure alone all these years (I always take care of her first). I sat down and thought, could I go a lot longer, with no chance of a outing? Could I achieve a orgasm with no stimulation alone to the penis? Was I willing to give it all up, to totally devote myself to my wife for a longer period?
A few days went by with me thinking long and hard about it. I made the decision and wrote the email. Knowing I needed to pick a day far in the distance but not too far so that I could really know if my feelings were still totally sexual or genuine to my wife, love and devotion for her. I decided one day we could remember easy, January 31st. When all W2's have to be sent out .lol.
I asked her to hold the keys with no release or removal (other than needed for doctor or metal detectors) and of course our weekly times to enjoy. She agreed easily saying she has seen a good shift of my personality and attention toward her and our relationship the last month. So with that said, 6 months are now on my path with no removal. I have dreamed of the day where I would not have a chance to choose. This day is now. I believe that once 2015 comes I will have only been "free" 82 days in 2014.. What a change from years past.
In 2015 once we reach that day, she has agreed to assess the experience and decide if I ever need to be released again for intercourse or sexual pleasure. She did say that she might use a vibrator while I am in my device and I of course have no issues with that! She also wants to see if I can orgasm from nipple stimulation alone before every trying a vibrator. Being semi-permanent based will see if I can mentally deal with the situation and if it is good/bad/does nothing for our relationship.
I know that my focus is 100% on her and can only see it growing as the months go by. When she came to me and said she would be glad to just keep the keys and see how things go in 2015 I was excited beyond believe and also a bit scare. Time will tell and I think my thoughts will end up here on a regular bases.
Monday, July 21, 2014
Past 75 days..
Today marks the 77th day that I have been in my device without any release or removal of any kind.
I have been torn a good bit on how long that I might be kept in the device and if that would really get to me at some point. Lately I have been showing my wife different bits of information that I have found that shows that there isn't any medical reason to remove me from my device and just like the last two post I have posted I shared those with her also.
I find that I am more focused and less interested in "wild" fantasies as I was before. I do think this is because of the chastity because as I would masturbate I would find myself getting bored and coming up with more "interesting" fantasies to fuel the fire so that I might reach a orgasm quicker.
Last night was a big stepping stone for me. We settled down for the night with a bath for her, a massage and then I was able to bring her to a nice orgasm to top off the night. Now I knew that there was no expectations for me to get out and I really enjoyed being able to focus on her. When finished I always slip up to her and give her a kiss, and when not locked, I then enter her for my turn. However, when locked I will do the same but give her a kiss and usually move to the side of her.
This time, I stayed as we talked and she reached up and began to play with my nipples. Now this is the most erotic zone of my body and anytime she wants me to "finish" quickly or she is ready for me to finish she just dials in the knobs and I am done. As we kissed and talked she continued to play with my nipples and waves of energy spiked and flowed throughout my body. Many times if felt like mini orgasms as I would shutter and jerk as she smiled and giggled.
I had never experienced something like that and after a while she was finished playing with me and the night was over. I however could not get the energy and excitement I felt out of my head and how I could feel that with no direct stimulation to my penis. I began to search on the internet and found that many men have had the same experiences I have.
In fact, quite a few have been able to have a orgasm by stimulation the nipples only. I do not think this could ever happen to me without my wife doing the stimulation to the nipples but my erotic curiosity has the best of me. I now wonder and want to explore the possibility of achieving a orgasm with no direct stimulation to the penis and mainly focusing on stimulation to the nipples.
This would/could bring the chastity to a completely different level. My wife does not need intercourse for a orgasm and if she could bring me to a orgasm with no stimulation and without removing the device, that would be mind boggling. How would that feel?!?!?!
The research has started on my part and as I see it right now, I am going out of town for a good week so unless there is a unlock tonight, I will be in and should break my record of 87 days shortly. Time will tell.. But till then, ..... Searching "nipple orgasm""... :)
Article sent by a friend
I was sent this article, not sure where it came from other than a friend on Fetlife. I found it very interesting and so did my wife.
The Secret With In The Belt
With male chastity there is a side that is spoken of but never explained well. The reason and want for “tease and denial”. Men that use male chastity for extended periods (over a month) begin to have urges for “tease and denial”. The attempt to explain this to their spouse typically is unsuccessful.
The increase of testosterone and libido with extended chastity will level off after ~12-14 days. This allows a level amount of testosterone and libido allowing a better focus and function without distractions. This will cause the urge to focus on the spouse and not to have the need to complete an orgasm. The majority of men prefer to be tantalized to the edge of an orgasm without having one in extended chastity. This creates the term “tease and denial” and the need for it.
This includes sexual encounters without removal of the device or an orgasm from the male. The focus of the encounter is strictly on the spouse and sharing the spouse’s orgasm. This is a very common practice in tantric sex. The male can orgasm without intercourse still encased in the device and will feel the spouse’s outlet of energy, producing a stronger orgasm for the spouse and a close connection of the orgasm with the male. This can be achieved with practice.
To achieve this connection, with in foreplay both the spouse and male will bring the sexual energy to the edge of the need for intercourse. For the spouse this is more difficult since the male is “trapped” and usually the penis is the focal point of energy focus. The spouse can focus on any other erotic zone that tips the males energy. An unknown and highly effective zone is the male nipples. Throughout history documentation shows that men have been able to orgasm by nipple stimulation alone when at a very high erotic state. Other zones will differ with each male.
“Tease and denial” effectively is created when the spouse builds the energy of the male before the spouse will achieve an orgasm. The male will crest at the edge of an orgasm or complete an orgasm at this time. If the male isn’t able to orgasm it completes the “tease and denial”, if the male does orgasm there is still a “denial” of direct stimulation.
This does not mean that direct stimulation (removed from the device) by intercourse or other means should be bypassed. They result will create a much stronger orgasm of the male when this happens and the focus of the orgasm will be centered completely on the spouse. The time between “tease and denial” and direct stimulation is dependent on the couple. Some couples wait a few weeks where others wait a few months to even a year or longer. The major dependent, of the time, is related to the device and ability to wear long periods. Men surveyed stated the philological effect develops a greater connection between the male and spouse, enjoyment of surpassing direct stimulation orgasms, and a more meaningful trusting relationship.
Monday, July 7, 2014
A good read found on the net last night.
The Truth Behind The Belt
Male chastity is one topic that is
not often talked about. The reason being such a psychological component to it
that many people does not comprehend, along with the psychological component
there is a physical component with advantages for men over 40.
After the
age of 35, most men begin to experience a gradual decline in testosterone. A
decrease of interest in sex is mistaken as a symptom of getting older. The
decline in testosterone can cause erectile problems which add to the decrease
of sex drive. The decrease of sex drive relates to increased masturbation and
disconnect with the spouse, resulting in the decrease of intimate encounters or
non-existence of encounters. Depression, high blood pressure, weight gain, lack
of energy, irritable and easily aggressive tendencies is all symptoms of low
testosterone.
Doctors will
often prescribe testosterone replacement to correct testosterone levels. There
are many natural ways to increase testosterone also. Male chastity is being used
as a marital aid for millions of couple’s nation wide and a positive side
effect is the increase of testosterone naturally. Increasing testosterone
levels will not only correct the issues described but will also increase the
ability to focus and be more successful completing task at work and home.
Typically
men continue to masturbate with a low testosterone level and low libido.
Masturbation will give a spike of testosterone levels and good feeling but it
is short lived. On average men masturbate every 2-3 days. With the use of
chastity testosterone levels and libido increased leveling off at approximately
12-14 days.
*Test
subjects were split into two groups of males over the age of 35. Group one
masturbated every 3 days and group two used a chastity device for 15 days.
Testosterone levels were taken and compared to the % of level from an average 30
year old male.
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Let foot enter mouth.....
Now my vanilla wife is fine with the chastity it seems now. And she seems to really get when she wants to use her power over the keys she sure can......
Well I got my foot in my mouth and started a argument with her Saturday. Of course I went over the top, and of course I came back and apologized. Thinking things were all good we were out and about today and I suggested her taking a bath and getting a nice full body massage from me. Now this was not only a plan to make her feel better but also usually after a massage she is more in the mood for a bit of making out at the minimum.
She looked over at me and simply said, "That's a nice idea, but your NOT getting out of that thing for a LONG TIME." Which I was quickly put on my heels and agreed that I wasn't looking to get out and it was totally her choice on everything. She pointed out that "I put my foot in it big time, and since I am locked it makes it a lot easier to get her point across."
Last words she said about it, "Maybe when the climate changes you might get a chance..."
Well I did ask for it....
Thursday, July 3, 2014
July 4th special day for more than one reason.
I always love the forth of July and what it means for this country and what my grandfather and father put on the line for this country and for us to be able to enjoy what we can and the way we can.
I will also be enjoying my 60th day straight in chastity with no release of any kind. Yes a different kind of celebration to say the least. The device is pretty much a part of me and comfortable until I see something erotic or exciting, a lovely lady in a nice pair of heels or my wife pushes the right button and oh does the device remind me so well of my situation.
I have been luck enough to find a few different articles and information where couples have used chastity in a basic vanilla relationship that fits much of what my wife would be able to deal with. The one thing that is true about the summer and kids being at home, it kills a females libido..... My wife doesn't have any interest in "any" fun time with the kids up at home at night. Of course both of them love staying up late playing games and I have to work in the morning so I have to go to bed before they do. My wife also loves staying up late in the summer so I am fast asleep before she comes to bed.
The weekends I can't wait the kids out and fall asleep before they do. lol. It looks like the first day of school will set me at 112 days straight in chastity and I believe the first chance we will get to have some private time will be at 115 days. Now the longest I have been in before was 87 days and during that time we did get some time to "take care of her" and I had to wait. Those times were very exciting because I would really want to get out for a bit but then find a happy place knowing I was locked and she was happy.
I am really thinking, if the chance does come up, asking to not be released the first few weeks we get back to having some private time. At around 140 days we have a "special day" between us coming up and that could be the day out.
I know many guys don't worry about how many days they have been in or how many days a year they are in/out of chastity. For some reason I like keeping track. I also, for some reason really find it exciting to be in chastity more than out for a year. The last 3 years we advanced the chastity play and in those earlier two years the most amount of time I had been in for a year was 145 days total. So I look at this year and could almost tie that with one sitting plus the extra 42 days from before I would be pushing over 50% of the year in chastity.
This gets to the point where we have been using chastity as a play thing in a way. When she releases me for intercourse I do not have to go back in, I am free till her next period and only if she tells me that she is on her period. This has me thinking that I do feel that I am actually a better person, my libido is higher and my attention is much better and focused when in chastity for longer periods.
I have read of many guys having X days that they have decided on with the wife that are days they get released... Aka; birthday, anniversary, holiday.. things somewhat like that. The rest of the time is focused on the wife and no releases. This is very appealing to me and to try for some reason. The catch for me is, I can only come up with two dates- my birthday and our anniversary.. That is a big jump from a guy that is use to masturbating a average of 2 times a day to what I am now....
But, time will tell where things go. It is totally up to her when and if I get out, I wanted this very bad for so many years, I will never ask to be let out. That's the one thing I vowed to her that I wouldn't do. (Now this doesn't include going through metal detectors or a doctors visit that I would have to remove it) that would be different. And we haven't had to deal with that yet.
I will also be enjoying my 60th day straight in chastity with no release of any kind. Yes a different kind of celebration to say the least. The device is pretty much a part of me and comfortable until I see something erotic or exciting, a lovely lady in a nice pair of heels or my wife pushes the right button and oh does the device remind me so well of my situation.
I have been luck enough to find a few different articles and information where couples have used chastity in a basic vanilla relationship that fits much of what my wife would be able to deal with. The one thing that is true about the summer and kids being at home, it kills a females libido..... My wife doesn't have any interest in "any" fun time with the kids up at home at night. Of course both of them love staying up late playing games and I have to work in the morning so I have to go to bed before they do. My wife also loves staying up late in the summer so I am fast asleep before she comes to bed.
The weekends I can't wait the kids out and fall asleep before they do. lol. It looks like the first day of school will set me at 112 days straight in chastity and I believe the first chance we will get to have some private time will be at 115 days. Now the longest I have been in before was 87 days and during that time we did get some time to "take care of her" and I had to wait. Those times were very exciting because I would really want to get out for a bit but then find a happy place knowing I was locked and she was happy.
I am really thinking, if the chance does come up, asking to not be released the first few weeks we get back to having some private time. At around 140 days we have a "special day" between us coming up and that could be the day out.
I know many guys don't worry about how many days they have been in or how many days a year they are in/out of chastity. For some reason I like keeping track. I also, for some reason really find it exciting to be in chastity more than out for a year. The last 3 years we advanced the chastity play and in those earlier two years the most amount of time I had been in for a year was 145 days total. So I look at this year and could almost tie that with one sitting plus the extra 42 days from before I would be pushing over 50% of the year in chastity.
This gets to the point where we have been using chastity as a play thing in a way. When she releases me for intercourse I do not have to go back in, I am free till her next period and only if she tells me that she is on her period. This has me thinking that I do feel that I am actually a better person, my libido is higher and my attention is much better and focused when in chastity for longer periods.
I have read of many guys having X days that they have decided on with the wife that are days they get released... Aka; birthday, anniversary, holiday.. things somewhat like that. The rest of the time is focused on the wife and no releases. This is very appealing to me and to try for some reason. The catch for me is, I can only come up with two dates- my birthday and our anniversary.. That is a big jump from a guy that is use to masturbating a average of 2 times a day to what I am now....
But, time will tell where things go. It is totally up to her when and if I get out, I wanted this very bad for so many years, I will never ask to be let out. That's the one thing I vowed to her that I wouldn't do. (Now this doesn't include going through metal detectors or a doctors visit that I would have to remove it) that would be different. And we haven't had to deal with that yet.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Time Ticks by
Well when the alarm clock goes off tomorrow morning I will be starting my 44th day in chastity and will have bypassed the amount out of chastity vs the time in chastity for the year by a few days. I know that counting isn't that big of a deal but there is a little guy in me saying "how many days now?" and I just have to look.. That will put me at 85 days of chastity total this year. It being the 168th day of the year, "more days in than out".
I was a bit surprised on Fathers Day because all the "signs" pointed to a possible evening of intercourse and a release. Of course it started like all father's days do with a present from the kids and a card from them and my loving wife. She was exceptionally loving and kind all day. As the evening grew close I asked if she would like a bath, and she accepted. I quickly hopped in and out of the shower to freshen up before running her bath.
Normally on a night that I will get a release she will take a bath then come in the bedroom and lounge on the bed naked beside me before we partake in some cuddling and so forth. I was looking forward to her coming out of the bathroom naked, as the door opened I noticed her robe was on. She slipped over to the bed and told me "good night, happy fathers day" and out the room she went.
It was a mix of emotions because I was a bit torn not reading the signs the way I thought I did. However, I found myself happy to stay in the chastity and was able to go to sleep quite quickly and slept really well.
I took a moment to look at the calendar and started calculating the fact that her period is coming up in 9 days and she usually doesn't feel good a week before so that usually cuts any chance of a release at that time. This will set the earliest chance for a release around 60 days. Now this doesn't mean I will get a release, this will the be the earliest that she could be up to it. But with the summer going on and the kids keeping her busy and worn down, I can see that the release might go till they are back in school in September. This will put me at around 100-110 days straight with no removal of any kind.
This has caused a different dilemma mentally for myself. I love the idea of a release but now I have been really thinking of long term chastity being much more of a staple in my life and to the point where I question if I really need to ever be released.....
There is a fantasy back in my mind that starts with only having 2-3 scheduled releases a year, then it goes to, No no.. just one release on our anniversary... Allowing it to be all about her all year and not need to think if she would let me out or not. The fantasy always causes me to press hard against the cage and get excited but I do love to orgasm so.... lol..
I talked with my wife a week or so back telling her that she not need to worry about how long I have been in the device because there are many men that go years in their devices with no release at all. This was one concern she had about the device and after showing her some information on it she seemed more at ease.. This didn't hit me till today, hmmmm I might of created something here...
I love not knowing, I love not having control, I just wish I could last longer when she does let me out after a long time in.. But as time ticks by, I find myself very happy in my chastity and still not knowing when or really if I will get out.
I was a bit surprised on Fathers Day because all the "signs" pointed to a possible evening of intercourse and a release. Of course it started like all father's days do with a present from the kids and a card from them and my loving wife. She was exceptionally loving and kind all day. As the evening grew close I asked if she would like a bath, and she accepted. I quickly hopped in and out of the shower to freshen up before running her bath.
Normally on a night that I will get a release she will take a bath then come in the bedroom and lounge on the bed naked beside me before we partake in some cuddling and so forth. I was looking forward to her coming out of the bathroom naked, as the door opened I noticed her robe was on. She slipped over to the bed and told me "good night, happy fathers day" and out the room she went.
It was a mix of emotions because I was a bit torn not reading the signs the way I thought I did. However, I found myself happy to stay in the chastity and was able to go to sleep quite quickly and slept really well.
I took a moment to look at the calendar and started calculating the fact that her period is coming up in 9 days and she usually doesn't feel good a week before so that usually cuts any chance of a release at that time. This will set the earliest chance for a release around 60 days. Now this doesn't mean I will get a release, this will the be the earliest that she could be up to it. But with the summer going on and the kids keeping her busy and worn down, I can see that the release might go till they are back in school in September. This will put me at around 100-110 days straight with no removal of any kind.
This has caused a different dilemma mentally for myself. I love the idea of a release but now I have been really thinking of long term chastity being much more of a staple in my life and to the point where I question if I really need to ever be released.....
There is a fantasy back in my mind that starts with only having 2-3 scheduled releases a year, then it goes to, No no.. just one release on our anniversary... Allowing it to be all about her all year and not need to think if she would let me out or not. The fantasy always causes me to press hard against the cage and get excited but I do love to orgasm so.... lol..
I talked with my wife a week or so back telling her that she not need to worry about how long I have been in the device because there are many men that go years in their devices with no release at all. This was one concern she had about the device and after showing her some information on it she seemed more at ease.. This didn't hit me till today, hmmmm I might of created something here...
I love not knowing, I love not having control, I just wish I could last longer when she does let me out after a long time in.. But as time ticks by, I find myself very happy in my chastity and still not knowing when or really if I will get out.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
How a show can shift my wife more to the chastity side.
With my wife watching the Tori&Dean show, and him being caught cheating has really increased the communication with male chastity involved in it.
With my wife being pretty vanilla, we don't really "discuss" my chastity nor does she show much interest in it, other than what is required when she is given the keys and when she decides to release me. But with the show going on, she started thinking more about it and starting discussing the fact that "just locking him up" would solve the issue. Now this made me smile seeing she came up with the idea herself.
This prompted a good bit of discussion on male chastity and the advantages of devices being worn. As I told her, "I would never cheat, but Dean said that too". I pointed out that since she holds the keys that it takes that completely out of the equation for us. She seemed to almost feel comfortable with herself knowing she has the keys.
I have started to discuss the fact that she doesn't need to feel bad or anything when we pass a month without me being released. Vanilla/RT life gets in the way and she doesn't get in the mood, that's part of my deal that I want. No release till she is in the mood for intercourse. This will push this "lock-in" past 30 days and with the summer happening I could end up being in for a good two more months or more. Now we do have two sporting events scheduled that would require removal for the metal detectors but I would suggest not staying out if we decide to go.
I do feel that she is finding some comfort now with me in the device because her "jealous bone" did show up a little discussing "if I was cheating" and I would say, "but I can't" and she would just grin and agree happily......
I have always wanted to get to the point where I just wear the device 24/7 and only removed when she is in the mood for intercourse. This has put us a small step closer to her comfort level of agreeing to the idea. Of course I would love to also take care of her orgasm's between my release with nothing for me as we had done with a 90 day lockup before. Both of these things can be on the table within the end of the year.
With my wife being pretty vanilla, we don't really "discuss" my chastity nor does she show much interest in it, other than what is required when she is given the keys and when she decides to release me. But with the show going on, she started thinking more about it and starting discussing the fact that "just locking him up" would solve the issue. Now this made me smile seeing she came up with the idea herself.
This prompted a good bit of discussion on male chastity and the advantages of devices being worn. As I told her, "I would never cheat, but Dean said that too". I pointed out that since she holds the keys that it takes that completely out of the equation for us. She seemed to almost feel comfortable with herself knowing she has the keys.
I have started to discuss the fact that she doesn't need to feel bad or anything when we pass a month without me being released. Vanilla/RT life gets in the way and she doesn't get in the mood, that's part of my deal that I want. No release till she is in the mood for intercourse. This will push this "lock-in" past 30 days and with the summer happening I could end up being in for a good two more months or more. Now we do have two sporting events scheduled that would require removal for the metal detectors but I would suggest not staying out if we decide to go.
I do feel that she is finding some comfort now with me in the device because her "jealous bone" did show up a little discussing "if I was cheating" and I would say, "but I can't" and she would just grin and agree happily......
I have always wanted to get to the point where I just wear the device 24/7 and only removed when she is in the mood for intercourse. This has put us a small step closer to her comfort level of agreeing to the idea. Of course I would love to also take care of her orgasm's between my release with nothing for me as we had done with a 90 day lockup before. Both of these things can be on the table within the end of the year.
Friday, May 23, 2014
Time doesn't matter
Each day that rolls by and we get closer to another “time of
the month” without release, I find myself contemplating much longer times in
chastity. I find myself very content with my situation and in no rush to get out of my device anytime soon.
I am looking at the calendar and if things go last the last
two years, once school is out, we never had any private time and didn’t have
any chance for intercourse. Also with the kids around 24/7 my wife really didn’t
have much sexual energy because there was never a quiet moment, plus with my
work schedule I always have to get up early. My wife is a night owl so our schedules also
get shifted greatly during the summer.
I know that in July
we have tickets to a sporting event here and they have metal detectors so the
device will at least come off for that, but doesn’t’ mean a release. Two years ago, I went all three months of
summer in chastity with no release. If this happens again, and I am not
released in the next 6 days, it might be the longest I have been in the device.
In one corner I do hope that I get a release and others
during the summer. In the other corner I hope that things will go as I foresee
them going and I only get released for the sporting event and will “offer” to
go back into the device unless she plans a sexual release.
I would like to see how it affects me mentally, emotionally
and physically. In the back of my mind I want to offer up to her on our anniversary
for her to keep the keys for the year. For us to have sexual encounters but
only focused on her for the year. The release would only be on our anniversary.
After that we could discuss and see how we both feel.
I have read many profiles and stories of couples taking on
the idea of a complete year in chastity with good and bad results. Just like
with chastity, time will tell and how things work will depend completely on her
J.
Friday, May 16, 2014
Cheating and the advantages of chastity
My wife enjoys watching the Tori and Dean TV show about their life's. She has watched them for many years and always commented about how they both cheated on their spouses but felt they had found their "soul-mate" with each other.
Looks like Dean needed a little extra on the side. I took this opportunity to watch the show some with my wife. Since being very vanilla, the chance of her talking about anything outside the "vanilla" world doesn't happen much. About half way through the last show, she looked at me and said, "I don't have to worry about you cheating, at least when you are wearing your device." I agreed and said that I know she trust me but so did Tori with Dean. I would never cheat and I am sure he said the same thing. But he did......
She agreed that she felt I wouldn't ever cheat but did agree (for the first time) that when I do have the device on she doesn't have to worry about much. She had really never had much care if I wore the device or not. I "needed" to wear it and feel the power exchange, even it it was just her keeping the keys from me.
We talked a good bit about how the device made me feel and the fact that my energy was focused more toward her because I couldn't have a release. I feel that when I can masturbate I weigh the effort it takes to get her in the mood so that we can have sex compared to a "quick fix" with masturbation and I turn to the quick fix every time. Thus it also lowers my sexual drive and interest in her....
The chastity stops the masturbation, increases my focus and I find myself just "nicer" to my wife because of it. I feel more at peace and looking to enjoy time with her. She agreed that she can feel the difference when I am in the device and the fact that I don't "bug" her to get out of the device allows her to get in the mood and our sex has been much better ever since we decided the lockup we use now. With kids and vanilla life she can't flip a switch and get in the mood, which (being a guy) I can! lol
The show ended with us discussing the fact that it was very easy for him to cheat and if he hadn't got caught would he have told her at all. She even joked that someone should send a message to stick Dean in a chastity device and see if he is willing to prove he loves her. :)
One thing about chastity, with a device like mine, there is no cheating.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
What I wouldn't mind hearing.
I find that once I have been in my device for around 10 days I become very comfortable with the device on. Now yes, it does bring my attention completely to the device whenever I become aroused, yet day to day, it has become extremely comfortable.
With that comfort also comes almost a security blanket of happiness. The time spent in the device is never set and completely dependent on my wife and her mood. If she doesn't seem to get in the mood then I wait, if she gets in the mood then we have sex and I am released. We have gone past a month a few times since she just didn't get in the mood because of day to day life before her period showed again.
When this happens I find that I have half of my brain and body not wanting to come out of the device and the other side almost at the edge of a orgasm waiting to get that release. I will have a roller coaster of emotions flood in as she produces the keys. Part of me can't wait to enjoy the sex with her and the other hopes she will change her mind and have me wait longer.
I have been really thinking..... I see later in the year, after the summer is over I will have less travel in my schedule and no need to be out of the device. I have three dates that I will travel and need to be out of the device during the summer but once the kids go back to school, the travel stops. My thought; Once the kids go back to school, I go back in my device and stay in till the New Year. At that point she can decide if she likes what the last 4 months were like and extend the stay till June when the summer comes again.
I haven't gone much pass 3 months before in one stay but I find myself (when in chastity) wanting to know what it feels like to go for 6/9/12 months. Do I have thoughts of permanent chastity? Yes I do but I am not sure the Looker 03 would be the best for that. If it gets to that point I would want to look at a device that doesn't have as many parts. More one of the new designs from Steelworxx or a Mrs. Lori's tube.
I wonder if this is a common issue for those in chastity for long periods to want to be in chastity longer?
With that comfort also comes almost a security blanket of happiness. The time spent in the device is never set and completely dependent on my wife and her mood. If she doesn't seem to get in the mood then I wait, if she gets in the mood then we have sex and I am released. We have gone past a month a few times since she just didn't get in the mood because of day to day life before her period showed again.
When this happens I find that I have half of my brain and body not wanting to come out of the device and the other side almost at the edge of a orgasm waiting to get that release. I will have a roller coaster of emotions flood in as she produces the keys. Part of me can't wait to enjoy the sex with her and the other hopes she will change her mind and have me wait longer.
I have been really thinking..... I see later in the year, after the summer is over I will have less travel in my schedule and no need to be out of the device. I have three dates that I will travel and need to be out of the device during the summer but once the kids go back to school, the travel stops. My thought; Once the kids go back to school, I go back in my device and stay in till the New Year. At that point she can decide if she likes what the last 4 months were like and extend the stay till June when the summer comes again.
I haven't gone much pass 3 months before in one stay but I find myself (when in chastity) wanting to know what it feels like to go for 6/9/12 months. Do I have thoughts of permanent chastity? Yes I do but I am not sure the Looker 03 would be the best for that. If it gets to that point I would want to look at a device that doesn't have as many parts. More one of the new designs from Steelworxx or a Mrs. Lori's tube.
I wonder if this is a common issue for those in chastity for long periods to want to be in chastity longer?
Monday, May 5, 2014
When it fits like a ......
I don't know if this will ever be a good or bad thing. I am always surprised when it has been a bit since I wore my device and the day comes where she requires me to put it back on.
I find that soon as it goes on there is only a few minutes where the device bugs me and then, it just settles in and its as if it never came off. It use to not be that way but now it seems like I can wear the device for a few months, have a month break and go back in and it was as natural to my body as if it never came off.
One think I truly feel, it shows just how much that my body wants to be in chastity as much as my mind and soul.
I find that soon as it goes on there is only a few minutes where the device bugs me and then, it just settles in and its as if it never came off. It use to not be that way but now it seems like I can wear the device for a few months, have a month break and go back in and it was as natural to my body as if it never came off.
One think I truly feel, it shows just how much that my body wants to be in chastity as much as my mind and soul.
Monday, March 17, 2014
Coming into my own.
I never expected how my feelings would change so much with a collar around my neck.
There has always been a sexual energy surounding the idea and act of chastity with my chastity device. It increases my sexual energy and curbs my ability to release that energy without my wife granting me that privilege.
With the collar there is a completely different feeling about myself. I feel more comfortable, at peace, and happy. I find my hand on my collar and a peace comes across me knowing my place with my wife, knowing that she bought it for me and she knows the meaning behind the collar and how much it means to me.
When I kneel in front of her now, just to show my love there is such a strong emotional bond that we have but it is even stronger now. I know that my wife was/is/and always be my soul mate, but even more she is now my key holder and holder of my collar. I am hers, heart, soul and body and could never be happier with life now.. :)
There has always been a sexual energy surounding the idea and act of chastity with my chastity device. It increases my sexual energy and curbs my ability to release that energy without my wife granting me that privilege.
With the collar there is a completely different feeling about myself. I feel more comfortable, at peace, and happy. I find my hand on my collar and a peace comes across me knowing my place with my wife, knowing that she bought it for me and she knows the meaning behind the collar and how much it means to me.
When I kneel in front of her now, just to show my love there is such a strong emotional bond that we have but it is even stronger now. I know that my wife was/is/and always be my soul mate, but even more she is now my key holder and holder of my collar. I am hers, heart, soul and body and could never be happier with life now.. :)
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Love of time, and anticipation
Just after our lovely and exciting talk and my collaring, my hopes to get a release this Sunday was high since my wife had said we would use the fact that the kids had to go to bed early for some "special time".
Well, last night her period showed up, which I knew was coming. So, as she let me know we giggled knowing it would be a good 4-5 days of that then usually another 5-7 days before she feels back to normal. This doesn't bother me much at all, being in my cage for 30 plus days isn't a problem.
I do find that my anticipation to be with my wife is higher than it has ever been. With the combination of my chastity, the new collar around my neck and the new side of my wife, now my excitement and anticipation has rocketed. This I do love, and do look forward to our "special time".
She has said that we will have to try out the penis sleeve and if works well, we might look into a strap-on too. I love the idea of bringing her to a orgasm with no ability for me to, which I do regularly with oral, but to do it with penetration... That would be unbelievable....
She said we would discuss some more things tonight since we are getting out for a bit without the kids, :)
Well, last night her period showed up, which I knew was coming. So, as she let me know we giggled knowing it would be a good 4-5 days of that then usually another 5-7 days before she feels back to normal. This doesn't bother me much at all, being in my cage for 30 plus days isn't a problem.
I do find that my anticipation to be with my wife is higher than it has ever been. With the combination of my chastity, the new collar around my neck and the new side of my wife, now my excitement and anticipation has rocketed. This I do love, and do look forward to our "special time".
She has said that we will have to try out the penis sleeve and if works well, we might look into a strap-on too. I love the idea of bringing her to a orgasm with no ability for me to, which I do regularly with oral, but to do it with penetration... That would be unbelievable....
She said we would discuss some more things tonight since we are getting out for a bit without the kids, :)
Thursday, March 13, 2014
How my wife became my Goddess today.
After 20 years of marriage and knowing of my fetish interest my wife bought me a Wyred Slave collar or our anniversary. This was a huge thing for me. I have waited 20 years for this and could not believe myself when it came in. She engraved it with our marriage date and a comment just to me, letting me know what I have always wanted to know.
This is a huge step in our relationship within the lifestyle. As I felt her slide the collar around my neck and put the set screw on, I started to get all watery eyed. She knows my love and devotion to her. Being the loving wife and knowing that once she had told me it was coming, I had said "I plan to never remove it", she told me, "you don't need these keys". Keeping the allen keys that will allow me to remove it.
It was very overwhelming emotionally and physically. We went out for a nice dinner, openly talking about many things in our relationship revolving around my chastity that I am in and the collar and what it means to me. She opened up to me a bit and I feel that our relationship within the lifestyle will grow a great deal more now. She has agreed and even offered up some ideas, being quite interested in the penis sleeve and if it doesn't work we may look into a strap-on with me still in chastity.
She told me that it would still be a few days knowing I would enjoy a number over 30 days before I would be released. I was and am on cloud nine. Things could haven't made a turn in the right direction any better and the next 20 years will be a great journey I am looking forward to...
This is a huge step in our relationship within the lifestyle. As I felt her slide the collar around my neck and put the set screw on, I started to get all watery eyed. She knows my love and devotion to her. Being the loving wife and knowing that once she had told me it was coming, I had said "I plan to never remove it", she told me, "you don't need these keys". Keeping the allen keys that will allow me to remove it.
It was very overwhelming emotionally and physically. We went out for a nice dinner, openly talking about many things in our relationship revolving around my chastity that I am in and the collar and what it means to me. She opened up to me a bit and I feel that our relationship within the lifestyle will grow a great deal more now. She has agreed and even offered up some ideas, being quite interested in the penis sleeve and if it doesn't work we may look into a strap-on with me still in chastity.
She told me that it would still be a few days knowing I would enjoy a number over 30 days before I would be released. I was and am on cloud nine. Things could haven't made a turn in the right direction any better and the next 20 years will be a great journey I am looking forward to...
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
When in longer term chastity.
When I say longer term chastity I am referring to more that 30 days.
I find that around 15 days in my body adapts to the chastity device and the nightly wakeup calls from the device drops off. I do notice that as the days go by my hard-on will not be as hard and not stay as long. With this, I know that once out my ability to stay strong the first night out isn't as good as it could be.
I have been thinking to suggest that we find ways to please her as well as I can on the day that I am released and focus on her without intercourse or with intercourse using a sheath to allow longer intercourse for her. Then she could use a vibrator on me or a blow job with a time limit. If I don't find a orgasm, back in the device I go.
However, things will get interesting because we could easily find another month slip by. If calculations are correct, the way things might land, I could be in till late August or early September.
Time will tell.
I find that around 15 days in my body adapts to the chastity device and the nightly wakeup calls from the device drops off. I do notice that as the days go by my hard-on will not be as hard and not stay as long. With this, I know that once out my ability to stay strong the first night out isn't as good as it could be.
I have been thinking to suggest that we find ways to please her as well as I can on the day that I am released and focus on her without intercourse or with intercourse using a sheath to allow longer intercourse for her. Then she could use a vibrator on me or a blow job with a time limit. If I don't find a orgasm, back in the device I go.
However, things will get interesting because we could easily find another month slip by. If calculations are correct, the way things might land, I could be in till late August or early September.
Time will tell.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
The things that make you smile.
I was laying on the bed yesterday, the kids were both out doing things with other friends. My wife was laying beside me, we were talking about day to day things, I would give a kiss here and there to her as we talked. She got up to get a drink and she said, "You should know that I will not be in the mood for a while, so don't think we need the keys yet."
I got the biggest grin on my face and just knowing she had them on her mind and took the time to comment like that, boy did that ever get me going. Now she had a procedure early last week and her stitches come out tomorrow. This doesn't mean she will be anywhere close to being in a mood that will let me out, it will just mean she can start feeling a little more normal.
Looking at the old "clock" there is only 12 days left till its that time again, so it is very easy that we might just skip this month all together. With her making that little comment, I could go another month easily to hear her say something like that again... :)
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Longer times in chastity.
The longest time I have been in chastity is 87 days with this device. Since then we usually average around 6-10 days because of the length of her period and time it takes for her to "get into the mood". This month, my wife had a procedure at the doctors office that had kept her off her feet and not feeling well. During this time I have had more time to reflect on the fact that I 'know" that I will not get out any time soon.
I sit and reflect that if she "forgot" she had the keys or just didn't want me out for a long time, I wouldn't care. Knowing that I want to be under her control and totally devoted to her, I saw this cartoon, and found a warmth in my life knowing she has the keys..
Saturday, February 22, 2014
How chastity makes things more simple
I was on a forum post today and the question was asked "What is chastity to you, and what is the most important part of chastity?"
In more words, the things that mean the most to me are more than just words. There is a part of me that grows, and what you would think when you want something is "more" but with chastity for me, it is "less". To explain better, it's a simpler life. When out of my device, I find that my fantasies grow with my masturbation, things I want become more advanced, more needy. With the chastity as the days go by, my needs drop and I become more focused on just my wife and my love and devotion to her. My commitment to her with my love, heart and soul, this grows and stays strong as I am in chastity, those things can slip when out of chastity because I can easily please myself with masturbation. With the denial comes self improvement in myself around the home and with my wife. I feel more myself of old, I know that in males testosterone grows and peaks as our libido, and also drops when I masturbate. So the key is to not masturbate, all things are better when I don't and keep myself for my wife. I can not do that alone, masturbation and my fetish thoughts take control when I want to not masturbate. Chastity solves this for me, my wife holding the keys allows my energy and devotion to be directed 100% to her.
As I for the post, a list of things came to mind;
Devotion.
Commitment.
Denial.
Self improvement.
Increased energy.
Focus.
Friday, February 21, 2014
HuffPost Male Chastity
http://live.huffingtonpost.com/r/segment/male-chastity-/527d2d3d78c90a2e82000103
Difference in wanting chastity and being in chastity.
I will say this, in the early years when I was still trying to find a device that worked right I "needed" attention to be happy in chastity. I would get frustrated about being in the chastity if I wasn't getting any attention I wanted out. Much of the problem was the ill fitting devices and the device would become either painful or UN-wearable after a week or so. This put a lot of pressure on my wife to "pay attention" to me.
The whole point of the chastity was for her not to have to do anything and when she was "in the mood" she could then pay attention. Plus the fact that I could escape from the devices did not add to the experience in a good way.
I was "wanting chastity" but not getting it because I could escape, and couldn't wear the device comfortably for very long. Frustration would set in my wife and she just wouldn't want to continue, nor would I after a while. Then a few weeks would go by, the fetish itch would be so great I would beg for us to try again, I would pick up a new device and try again. Fail again.. "wanting chastity" but not getting it....
We took a long break, ( my wife might have thought it was over ) then I found the Looker 03.... I didn't want to say anything to her about it, I measured, remeasured, remeasured, measured, and then finally ordered. The device came in, fit perfect, yet I wasn't sure to tell her yet... I took the keys and put them under her side of the bed knowing I couldn't access them at night when I would normally masturbate.
I made one month completely with no removal at any point, it was in the summer which with vanilla life our sex life comes to pretty much a halt. We discussed a date night so I removed the device while she was getting ready. We had a wonderful night and the orgasm was fabulous! The next day I sat her down and explained the new device and showed her.
I told her at this time, I believed I could be "in chastity" for once in my life. Since then, the device goes on, we don't speak of it, and I wait... I don't need teasing, the fact that it is on es the pleasure I need. Knowing she has all the keys, she will decide when she is in the mood, and the time isn't set.
All these thinks bring happiness and a comfort to my soul knowing she controls me, owns me, and has all of me.. heart, soul and physically... This is ...... being in chastity....
The whole point of the chastity was for her not to have to do anything and when she was "in the mood" she could then pay attention. Plus the fact that I could escape from the devices did not add to the experience in a good way.
I was "wanting chastity" but not getting it because I could escape, and couldn't wear the device comfortably for very long. Frustration would set in my wife and she just wouldn't want to continue, nor would I after a while. Then a few weeks would go by, the fetish itch would be so great I would beg for us to try again, I would pick up a new device and try again. Fail again.. "wanting chastity" but not getting it....
We took a long break, ( my wife might have thought it was over ) then I found the Looker 03.... I didn't want to say anything to her about it, I measured, remeasured, remeasured, measured, and then finally ordered. The device came in, fit perfect, yet I wasn't sure to tell her yet... I took the keys and put them under her side of the bed knowing I couldn't access them at night when I would normally masturbate.
I made one month completely with no removal at any point, it was in the summer which with vanilla life our sex life comes to pretty much a halt. We discussed a date night so I removed the device while she was getting ready. We had a wonderful night and the orgasm was fabulous! The next day I sat her down and explained the new device and showed her.
I told her at this time, I believed I could be "in chastity" for once in my life. Since then, the device goes on, we don't speak of it, and I wait... I don't need teasing, the fact that it is on es the pleasure I need. Knowing she has all the keys, she will decide when she is in the mood, and the time isn't set.
All these thinks bring happiness and a comfort to my soul knowing she controls me, owns me, and has all of me.. heart, soul and physically... This is ...... being in chastity....
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Male Libido and chastity
This was posted on a friends page and thought was interesting to share. From the description it matches the picture above. I know for a fact that when I am in chastity, my libido stays higher, I find myself more patience and tolerable to things. I really find that I am much more in peace with myself and my life when in chastity.
I do think that some time of sexual tension needs to be introduced at times to keep my libido high. If locked and forgotten, I am still quite tolerable and patience but my libido does drop some. It never drops like after a orgasm but doesn't stay higher as when there is a sexual tension added.
If left in chastity for more than 7-10 days there is a complete security and comfort that grows with the chastity. There is no more discomfort like at the beginning when my libido is tipping the scale. It level's off at a much higher level than it would be in any way, and even higher than if I was able to masturbate when I wanted to, so I think that chastity is a great part of a marriage. It has been a great part of ours.
"Men’s Libido and Lasting Marriage
After 11 years of marriage I was shocked to find out that my husband was having an affair. This was a crushing blow to myself esteem and trust of my husband. After a year of counseling with a marriage counselor and couples sex counselor, I forgave him but did not forget. I feel what I learned could help signal to others, the problems that caused our issues and his affair.
A normal male’s libido is much like a sign wave with peaks and valley’s. The amount of amplitude and time between the peak and valley differs with each male. When the male is in a valley, they are typically less likely to want contact with their partner. When the male is in a peak, they are focused on the goal of a release, with or without their partner. The optimum period is the rise of the wave to the edge of the peak, during this time the male will want to interact with his partner and not necessarily need a release.
Our problem as a couple was compounded by the inability to get on the same schedule. Men have many more peaks and valley’s than females, averaging every 2-4 days compared to every 12-16 days. Thus if my peak met a valley for him, there was no contact. Both of us had to work to balance our peaks at the same time so that we could have more encounters that were pleasurable for both of us.
The advice we found that worked for us was to find a way to slowly elongate his wave to match closer to mine allowing us to be on the same schedule. Men are much more pliable and able to adapt when they need to be."
I do think that some time of sexual tension needs to be introduced at times to keep my libido high. If locked and forgotten, I am still quite tolerable and patience but my libido does drop some. It never drops like after a orgasm but doesn't stay higher as when there is a sexual tension added.
If left in chastity for more than 7-10 days there is a complete security and comfort that grows with the chastity. There is no more discomfort like at the beginning when my libido is tipping the scale. It level's off at a much higher level than it would be in any way, and even higher than if I was able to masturbate when I wanted to, so I think that chastity is a great part of a marriage. It has been a great part of ours.
"Men’s Libido and Lasting Marriage
After 11 years of marriage I was shocked to find out that my husband was having an affair. This was a crushing blow to myself esteem and trust of my husband. After a year of counseling with a marriage counselor and couples sex counselor, I forgave him but did not forget. I feel what I learned could help signal to others, the problems that caused our issues and his affair.
A normal male’s libido is much like a sign wave with peaks and valley’s. The amount of amplitude and time between the peak and valley differs with each male. When the male is in a valley, they are typically less likely to want contact with their partner. When the male is in a peak, they are focused on the goal of a release, with or without their partner. The optimum period is the rise of the wave to the edge of the peak, during this time the male will want to interact with his partner and not necessarily need a release.
Our problem as a couple was compounded by the inability to get on the same schedule. Men have many more peaks and valley’s than females, averaging every 2-4 days compared to every 12-16 days. Thus if my peak met a valley for him, there was no contact. Both of us had to work to balance our peaks at the same time so that we could have more encounters that were pleasurable for both of us.
The advice we found that worked for us was to find a way to slowly elongate his wave to match closer to mine allowing us to be on the same schedule. Men are much more pliable and able to adapt when they need to be."
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